The Death Pool Quoteboard

Some of the funniest items from Death Pool conversation (My additions in bold)

“Really. Sounds disturbing. Send me the email.”

“You sick twisted bastard I truly do love you…count me in!”

“I must say – this is quite intriguing. And only someone like you would be sick enough to run it. But that’s what I like about you.”

“A fantasy death league? That’s really cool. I have always been a big fan of death.” (Ed. – Yes, we alerted the authorities)

“Hey! I see Johnny Carson died and immediately thought to call you and see if you’d picked him in your little death pool.”

(Turning down an invitation) “No, I don’t want people I picked to start dying. I’d think I was in a bad movie. And I’ve got a God complex as it is.”

“But sick people are more likely to die!”

“I’d pick the cockroaches before I took Keith Richards.”

“Ok, keep him on the list, then.” (In response to finding out his Death Pool pick was still alive after he had emailed to swap his selection of Roger Ebert because he believed Ebert to be dead.)

“I thought about JD Salinger, but then I thought… if he died in March, it might take ‘til next January before someone finds out.”

“I’m just going with people that I hate. I figure if I’m rooting for them to die anyway.”

“Don’t show the Secret Service that” (After predicting President G.W. Bush would be knocked off this calendar year.)

“The man will be 30 in July, isn’t that kinda old for a rapper?”

“I hope [Pope John Paul II] pulls through…I don’t want to fall behind so early.”

“My goal is to become famous enough that someone picks me in their death pool”

“Yeah, I felt bad. But he’s old. And that’s what old people do, they die.”

“What about Stevie? Two blind singers in one year?” – (while watching the Grammy’s)

“Why are you watching the Grammy’s? Oh, you just want to see if your drug addict singer has track marks”

“I don’t want the points!” (A Catholic abdicating her papal points.)

“Terri Shaivo died? F*** YES!” (six days after she died and moments before an inappropriate Terri Shaivo imitation)

“You know, the death pool isn’t all that bad. Sure you’re rooting for your 10 people to die, but you’re rooting for everyone else’s picks to live.”

“I pick dead people, I don’t pick alive people,” (Explaining why she’d be gambling on the pope in a death pool but not in a ‘pick-the-new pope’ pool,  while not realizing the condition of her picks in the death pool at the time of their selection.)

“Yo, CNN has an article saying Fats Domino is missing in the flood.  I picked him so rack up the points baby!”

“I’m going to need a gang shootout with G-Unit and Wilford Brimley if I’m going to get back into this thing.”

“Damn you. I’m suddenly intrigued when they show certain people on the verge of death on TV.”

“I can’t tell you how close I was to taking Red Auerbach in the Pool – but then I decided that if he really died I would feel bad. Of course they say that hindsight is 20-20 and now I realize that he died anyway and I don’t have any points to show for it.”

“I wasn’t appalled. At first, I thought ‘that might be okay for them, but that’s not for me.’ And then I watched you guys last year and thought, ‘screw this, I’m not losing money to these schmucks!’”

“Merry Christmas. James Brown died.” (via text message, 8 a.m. Christmas morning)

RW: What happened to John Travolta’s son?
KW: Uh, he died of something
RW: Stopped Staying Alive, huh?

TG: Paul Harvey died.
AF: Well, I guess there’s no rest to THAT story


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