Stream of Consciousness X (Toasted Laptop Edition)

September 17, 2009

Hours before my trip to New York, I got online to confirm my flight reservations and discovered my computer had a virus. So, instead of being online constantly, as per my usual, I went virtually six days with no internet access. I checked email occassionally, and did a fantasy draft from my grandma’s computer. But nothing significant.

When I got back, I fired up my old personal one (with re-attached N key) and set the other one to IT. But I lack my documents and settings. and have felt naked for 10 days. Since I created the site on the work computer, I also lost my password for this site, so that explains the lack of updates.

Lucky for me, I kept some notes while I was gone, so Brought to you by my missing N key, here’s the Toasted Computer Random Notes/Stream of Consciousness X:

When can we make High Definition TV the standard, and dump standard def?

My brother things the Death Pool is too sick to get into. But he and his co-workers do random gambling pools and fantasy sports (My brother knows NOTHING about the NHL, but wins that league each year because no one he works with in Waco, Texas, has ever actually watched hockey).
So my brother developed a new Fantasy Sport: Fantasy Death Pool. Instead of participating in the pool, they draft the participants of MY DEATH POOL. And whomever has the person who wins my pool, wins their pot.

I met my Bro-ddy Tom, (that’s half Brother/Half Buddy. Next Door neighbor growing up, my mom babysat him. He’s my little brother) in Rochester and saw his son Jackson, who’s a legitimately cute baby. Seeing Tom with Jackson was amazing, because I went to college when he was 14, and then moved to Dayton. So I never saw the part where he learned to take care of himself, let alone another human being. I can’t wait til little Jackson grows into the David Wright jersey I gave him.

Had drinks with my friend while in Rochester, and we saw a high school classmate tending the bar. We didn’t say hello and had to ask our waitress her name. She mentioned to the waitress that she recognized my friend and I reveled in the fact that because I cut my grunge era hair in college, I get to dictate all interactions with old high school classmates. She’s not going to recognize me, so I get to decide which former classmates I want to talk to.

CLM quit. Her last day was Wednesday. She’s moving on to Life 2.1. Losing an office mate sucks, but my number of non-work friends in this city just doubled.

And speaking of the office, I did jot down all the moments from the office over the past few weeks, so MorganBowers25.com is updated.

With my computer being toast, there were plenty of awkward moments when I had to respond to the implication that I got a virus on my computer from downloading illicit pornography. Which simply isn’t true.  /  IT guys must hate dealing with customers. Every single person is not only lying about not viewing pornography, but also freaking out and saying crazy things like “My whole life is on there!” They probably just want people to shut up so they can fix the computer, which is what they are good at.

The next time I get good customer service in New Orleans will probably be the first.

I don’t care what he does politically, the fact that our president has guys over for a beer, calls Kanye West a jackass, and sounds like The Rock makes me proud to be an American.

Stream of Conciousness XI

Hours before my trip to New York, I got online to confirm my flight reservations and discovered my computer had a virus. So, instead of being online constantly, as per my usual, I went virtually six days with no internet access. I checked email occassionally, and did a fantasy draft from my grandma’s computer. But nothing significant.

When I got back, I fired up my old personal one (with re-attached N key) and set the other one to IT. But I lack my documents and settings. and have felt naked for 10 days. Since I created the site on the work computer, I also lost my password for this site, so that explains the lack of updates.

Lucky for me, I kept some notes while I was gone, so you have Toasted Computer Random Notes. Brought to you buy my missing N key.

When can we make High Definition TV the standard, and dump standard def?

My brother things the Death Pool is too sick to get into. But he and his co-workers do random gambling pools and fantasy sports (My brother knows NOTHING about the NHL, but wins that league each year because no one he works with in Waco, Texas, has ever actually watched hockey).
So my brother developed a new Fantasy Sport: Fantasy Death Pool. Instead of participating in the pool, they draft the participants of MY DEATH POOL. And whomever has the person who wins my pool, wins their pot.

I met my Bro-ddy Tom, (that’s half Brother/Half Buddy. Next Door neighbor growing up, my mom babysat him. He’s my little brother) in Rochester and saw his son Jackson, who’s a legitimately cute baby. Seeing Tom with Jackson was amazing, because I went to college when he was 14, and then moved to Dayton. So I never saw the part where he learned to take care of himself, let alone another human being. I can’t wait til little Jackson grows into the David Wright jersey I gave him.

Had drinks with my friend while in Rochester, and we saw a high school classmate tending the bar. We didn’t say hello and had to ask our waitress her name. She mentioned to the waitress that she recognized my friend and I reveled in the fact that because I cut my grunge era hair in college, I get to dictate all interactions with old high school classmates. She’s not going to recognize me, so I get to decide which former classmates I want to talk to.

Awkward moment with the friend from drinks: Discussing failed attempts at romance, she made a comment about how she’s looking for a relationship and just wishes someone she knew before, like from high school, would re-enter her life a relationship could start from there, so she wouldn’t have to try and find new people and discover they are crazy. Awkward because we had that brief pause in which I’m thinking “Does she mean me? What am I supposed to say to that?” and I bet she’s thinking “Oh crap, does he think I meant him?” or she’s waiting to see if I take the bait.

It’s entirely possible (or probable!) that she wasn’t talking about me at all and I just have an ego problem. I also thought the whole reason my co-worker CLM changed her hair color from Chocolate-CHERRY was because she discovered I have a thing for redheads; and it was her non-confrontational way of saying “Don’t even think about it. No chance in hell.” (Cue Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain).

Speaking of CLM, she quit. Her last day was Wednesday. She’s moving on to Life 2.1. Losing an office mate sucks, but my number of non-work friends in this city just doubled.

And speaking of the office, I did jot down all the moments from the office over the past few weeks, so MorganBowers25.com is updated.

With my computer being toast, there were plenty of awkward moments when I had to respond to the implication that I got a virus on my computer from downloading illicit pornography. Which simply isn’t true.  /  IT guys must hate dealing with customers. Every single person is not only lying about not viewing pornography, but also freaking out and saying crazy things like “My whole life is on there!” They probably just want people to shut up so they can fix the computer, which is what they are good at.

The next time I get good customer service in New Orleans will probably be the first.

I don’t care what he does politically, the fact that our president has guys over for a beer, calls Kanye West a jackass, and sounds like The Rock makes me proud to be an American.

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Full Planes Rarely Crash

November 11, 2008

I believe people have mild psychic powers. Not like, Carrie/Firestarter type telekinetics, but that normal people can somehow just occasionally know things they have don’t have a rational reason to know.

For example, my best friend growing up was Tom, whom I played street hockey with daily growing up. He was younger than me, and a much better athlete. One spring morning, he had a hockey game and I told him I’d meet up with him later because I was going to play basketball. As I was walking over to my game, I suddenly had this sharp pain in my leg (the high ankle area). I took a couple steps and it just gave out. I paused, caught my breath and went to play hoops. I was awful and basically stood around because it hurt to move. It faded away as the game went on, and I got better. Over the next five to six hours, I forgot about the pain. It simply went away. I didn’t do anything to it, must have been a cramp or something.

Later afternoon, it was fine when I walked over to Tom’s. But as I approached his house, it dawned on me: We weren’t going out to wherever we were supposed to go that night. I started doing math in my head as I walked in. Sure enough, Tom’s sitting there with his broken leg in a cast. I said “about nine minutes left in the second period?” He replied “Something like that.” After telling me about the game and the play, and his trip to the doctors, I told him about my day. He told me they gave him some drugs when they set the break, and when he was coming out of it, he told his mom that he ruined my basketball game.

What’s unfortunate, is that the majority of things I’ve experienced, aside from occasionally knowing I’m about to hear a good song on the car radio before pushing the button to change the channel, or minor feelings of déjà vu for insignificant events, is that it’s never a premonition, just reactionary; Knowing something’s wrong, but still powerless to change it.

I think this “phenomenon” is the trace elements of skills we, as humans, once had. Back before communications, I bet people got feelings like something was wrong more frequently. Like the Time-Life books commercial: “A woman in Georgia has a burning sensation in her hand while doing the dishes… thousands of miles away in California, at the same time, a fire engulfs her sister’s home.” Back before phones, we’d get that feeling, but over time it’s become unnecessary: Someone will just call us to say something bad has happened.

I really wish this phenomenon would be something predictive, and help me out. Although, my cousin had one: He was at a family wedding while he was in his mid-20s, with his wife and his parents, and he woke up and was visible upset about something. Everyone could see that he was feeling tense and just, well, weird. They were getting into a rental car, and my cousin suddenly was adamant that he drive instead of his father. Everyone was talking in the car, and my cousin was in another world, completely ignoring them. They came to a blind curve, doing about 50 mph. On the other side of it, a truck coming the other way was just beginning to have an accident and spin into their side of the road. My cousin swerved, avoided the brunt of the collision and the car was clipped. The passengers were all in shock after the accident, but everyone was okay. My cousin, on the other hand, did not have the post-accident shock. He sat quietly on the side of the road, finally at peace. His mom noticed that the way he behaved earlier in the day was exactly like how everyone else in the car was acting immediately following the accident. A policeman answering the call of the accident told them that because of the bad sightlines, he was surprised that anyone coming around the corner like they were would have been able to avoid a head-on collision. He went on to add that it was a blessing that my cousin was driving, because his expert opinion was that my cousin must have lightning quick reflexes and anyone, including someone who was older, who didn’t have them, and everyone in the car was probably dead.

That’s seemingly miraculous, and I wish it happened more often, preventing harm to people I know and bettering people’s lives. But I’ll always think that on some level, people are mildly psychic. There’s too many known instances of people who have stomach aches or bad feelings, so they change their plans and therefore avoid disasters. You hear stories of “aren’t they lucky, they overslept and missed a flight that was doomed!” But plenty of studies have been done which show there’s a statistical trend when planes or trains crash, there’s an unusual number of cancellations or no shows. In other words, there’s more people experiencing those little reasons that make people miss flights (illness, alarm clocks, bad traffic, etc) when something bad actually happens, then when the same flights go off without a hitch.

Then again, most times, “reading someone’s mind” isn’t because of psychic powers. My friend Pease and I would often have moments of “reading each other’s minds” but it’s because we knew each other so well. I can’t help but think that my own experience with Tom’s broken leg, is because Tom and I were like brothers. It only makes sense. When we’d play hockey, I was 10 times better as a hockey player when I was on a line with him than when I’m not. We always knew where each other would be on the ice. We could make no look passes to each other’s tape. We just instinctively knew. One of our friends often said we had a sixth sense for each other, so it’s only logical that I knew where he was on the ice, and knew he got hurt. Even thought I was off playing basketball.

Of course, these psychic powers don’t seem to work when you try. In one instance, I was in bed and my arm was trapped under the body of an aforementioned girl. I was marveling at the connection we had made in our young relationship, and because it was very late at night I wondered if maybe it was psychic connection. Maybe she could read my thoughts! I then tried to telepathically tell her to roll over and release my arm so I could use the bathroom. I was wrong about the connection we’d made, not only because she didn’t read my thoughts of rolling over, but because the relationship soon went down in flames.

If only I’d had some premonition