Stream of Consciousness X (Toasted Laptop Edition)

September 17, 2009

Hours before my trip to New York, I got online to confirm my flight reservations and discovered my computer had a virus. So, instead of being online constantly, as per my usual, I went virtually six days with no internet access. I checked email occassionally, and did a fantasy draft from my grandma’s computer. But nothing significant.

When I got back, I fired up my old personal one (with re-attached N key) and set the other one to IT. But I lack my documents and settings. and have felt naked for 10 days. Since I created the site on the work computer, I also lost my password for this site, so that explains the lack of updates.

Lucky for me, I kept some notes while I was gone, so Brought to you by my missing N key, here’s the Toasted Computer Random Notes/Stream of Consciousness X:

When can we make High Definition TV the standard, and dump standard def?

My brother things the Death Pool is too sick to get into. But he and his co-workers do random gambling pools and fantasy sports (My brother knows NOTHING about the NHL, but wins that league each year because no one he works with in Waco, Texas, has ever actually watched hockey).
So my brother developed a new Fantasy Sport: Fantasy Death Pool. Instead of participating in the pool, they draft the participants of MY DEATH POOL. And whomever has the person who wins my pool, wins their pot.

I met my Bro-ddy Tom, (that’s half Brother/Half Buddy. Next Door neighbor growing up, my mom babysat him. He’s my little brother) in Rochester and saw his son Jackson, who’s a legitimately cute baby. Seeing Tom with Jackson was amazing, because I went to college when he was 14, and then moved to Dayton. So I never saw the part where he learned to take care of himself, let alone another human being. I can’t wait til little Jackson grows into the David Wright jersey I gave him.

Had drinks with my friend while in Rochester, and we saw a high school classmate tending the bar. We didn’t say hello and had to ask our waitress her name. She mentioned to the waitress that she recognized my friend and I reveled in the fact that because I cut my grunge era hair in college, I get to dictate all interactions with old high school classmates. She’s not going to recognize me, so I get to decide which former classmates I want to talk to.

CLM quit. Her last day was Wednesday. She’s moving on to Life 2.1. Losing an office mate sucks, but my number of non-work friends in this city just doubled.

And speaking of the office, I did jot down all the moments from the office over the past few weeks, so MorganBowers25.com is updated.

With my computer being toast, there were plenty of awkward moments when I had to respond to the implication that I got a virus on my computer from downloading illicit pornography. Which simply isn’t true.  /  IT guys must hate dealing with customers. Every single person is not only lying about not viewing pornography, but also freaking out and saying crazy things like “My whole life is on there!” They probably just want people to shut up so they can fix the computer, which is what they are good at.

The next time I get good customer service in New Orleans will probably be the first.

I don’t care what he does politically, the fact that our president has guys over for a beer, calls Kanye West a jackass, and sounds like The Rock makes me proud to be an American.

Stream of Conciousness XI

Hours before my trip to New York, I got online to confirm my flight reservations and discovered my computer had a virus. So, instead of being online constantly, as per my usual, I went virtually six days with no internet access. I checked email occassionally, and did a fantasy draft from my grandma’s computer. But nothing significant.

When I got back, I fired up my old personal one (with re-attached N key) and set the other one to IT. But I lack my documents and settings. and have felt naked for 10 days. Since I created the site on the work computer, I also lost my password for this site, so that explains the lack of updates.

Lucky for me, I kept some notes while I was gone, so you have Toasted Computer Random Notes. Brought to you buy my missing N key.

When can we make High Definition TV the standard, and dump standard def?

My brother things the Death Pool is too sick to get into. But he and his co-workers do random gambling pools and fantasy sports (My brother knows NOTHING about the NHL, but wins that league each year because no one he works with in Waco, Texas, has ever actually watched hockey).
So my brother developed a new Fantasy Sport: Fantasy Death Pool. Instead of participating in the pool, they draft the participants of MY DEATH POOL. And whomever has the person who wins my pool, wins their pot.

I met my Bro-ddy Tom, (that’s half Brother/Half Buddy. Next Door neighbor growing up, my mom babysat him. He’s my little brother) in Rochester and saw his son Jackson, who’s a legitimately cute baby. Seeing Tom with Jackson was amazing, because I went to college when he was 14, and then moved to Dayton. So I never saw the part where he learned to take care of himself, let alone another human being. I can’t wait til little Jackson grows into the David Wright jersey I gave him.

Had drinks with my friend while in Rochester, and we saw a high school classmate tending the bar. We didn’t say hello and had to ask our waitress her name. She mentioned to the waitress that she recognized my friend and I reveled in the fact that because I cut my grunge era hair in college, I get to dictate all interactions with old high school classmates. She’s not going to recognize me, so I get to decide which former classmates I want to talk to.

Awkward moment with the friend from drinks: Discussing failed attempts at romance, she made a comment about how she’s looking for a relationship and just wishes someone she knew before, like from high school, would re-enter her life a relationship could start from there, so she wouldn’t have to try and find new people and discover they are crazy. Awkward because we had that brief pause in which I’m thinking “Does she mean me? What am I supposed to say to that?” and I bet she’s thinking “Oh crap, does he think I meant him?” or she’s waiting to see if I take the bait.

It’s entirely possible (or probable!) that she wasn’t talking about me at all and I just have an ego problem. I also thought the whole reason my co-worker CLM changed her hair color from Chocolate-CHERRY was because she discovered I have a thing for redheads; and it was her non-confrontational way of saying “Don’t even think about it. No chance in hell.” (Cue Carly Simon’s You’re So Vain).

Speaking of CLM, she quit. Her last day was Wednesday. She’s moving on to Life 2.1. Losing an office mate sucks, but my number of non-work friends in this city just doubled.

And speaking of the office, I did jot down all the moments from the office over the past few weeks, so MorganBowers25.com is updated.

With my computer being toast, there were plenty of awkward moments when I had to respond to the implication that I got a virus on my computer from downloading illicit pornography. Which simply isn’t true.  /  IT guys must hate dealing with customers. Every single person is not only lying about not viewing pornography, but also freaking out and saying crazy things like “My whole life is on there!” They probably just want people to shut up so they can fix the computer, which is what they are good at.

The next time I get good customer service in New Orleans will probably be the first.

I don’t care what he does politically, the fact that our president has guys over for a beer, calls Kanye West a jackass, and sounds like The Rock makes me proud to be an American.

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Stream of Consciousness Vol. IX

July 6, 2009

After watching a week and a half of coverage on Michael Jackson and all the retrospectives of his career, I see a direct comparison to MJ and the rest of the Jackson Five and David Wright and the rest of the NY Mets offense.

Driving home from the baseball game on the Fourth of July, I saw the ballpark fireworks in my rear-view mirror, the Mid-City fireworks in the distance to the left, the downtown fireworks straight ahead beyond the skyline, and some West Bank fireworks in the distance in between Mid-City and downtown. Pretty awesome.

Second annual Fourth of July Kickball Game went as planned, and I’ve now been on the winning team each year. The MVP was Fatty Boo with a two-run triple, and Meghan rolled a complete game shutout as we won 9-0.

Last night, suffering serious insomnia, I decided to right a chick flick. I had a great idea for a plot, but promptly fell asleep and can’t remember the plot now. So, mission accomplished: I don’t have to suffer through some weak chick flick that will suck (even though I made it) because it’s a chick flick, and I beat insomnia!

I wish I had had an older sister growing up, someone like Zooey Deschanel in Almost Famous, that I could have asked ridiculous questions about girls to. I’m 31 years old, and I still don’t know the appropriate amount of eye contact to make. I know there IS a line between “I’m making eye-contact with you and not checking out your rack, I’m not a pervert honest” and “I’m a creep staring you down and making you uncomfortable.” I just don’t know where that line is.


Stream of Consciousness VII

June 7, 2009

One of my favorite local bloggers tends to write far less when she’s swamped at work, and post frequently when her schedule’s clear. I find myself more the opposite. The more free time I have, the less things actually happen to write about. I’m left with random worthless thoughts like:

The temperature in my apartment always either too hot or too cold. Kind of like a normal shower. Only my shower is always too cold. How can the temperature of my place be 82 when the heat is off and the high outside was 81?

And I had a dream in which my presence around the north pole meant I couldn’t really keep my pee for long periods of time without needing go (like, being on the top of the world meant gravity is pulling down towards the south pole? That makes no sense!). But then I woke up and realized that I really had to pee extremely badly. So instead of wondering why I had such a crazy dream, I was just grateful I didn’t wet my bed.


Stream of Consciousness VI: A New Beginning

May 20, 2009

More random thoughts

I think I’ve been working in photoshop too much when my response to a friend who has to paint the walls inside his house is “Just use the paint bucket, it’ll take like 12 seconds.”

Ever slack so much in a week at work that one day you have like three things you need to do and it seems like you worked all day? Yeah, me neither.

The idea of labeling these updates like movie sequels was fantastic. Well, until the viewers start thinking “Again? Can’t this guy just stay dead?” Don’t worry, I’m not going to pull “The Final Consciousness” only to comeback a while later with “KevFu Lives.” But I’m definitely not ruling out “KevFu goes to Hell” and “KevFu Takes Manhattan.”

I had no idea how much working baseball games completely sucked away my ability to have interesting things happen to me, but here we are. End of an eight-game home stand, and I realize I’ve written nothing in the past week.

This might be blasphemy, but the finale of Fringe was much better than the finale of 24. I think it’s time to freshen up 24 by putting a Director of Common Sense in the writer’s room. And also to go for broke. No new fans are coming in unless the old fans recruit them. So give us what we want. I think I’d make an entire episode of one interrogation by Jack Bauer, with torture escalating and escalating until the viewer is mildly uncomfortable. Speaking of season finale’s, did the My Boys season just start? What is this, a six-episode season? And no, watching that doesn’t make me gay.

Maybe I should play the lottery. My friend is getting married, she picked Nov. 28 as the date. I figured “no F’ing chance” of me not having games to work. But, lo and behold, we have no women’s hoops and no volleyball. Have football on the road, might have men’s hoops, but that’s only a three-person commitment, so I should be free!

You’d think that having a vast arsonel of free, cheap liquor would be awesome (and short-lived), but there’s just no way to get rid of this stuff.


Selection Sunday

March 15, 2009

WED: 11
THU: 24
FRI: 26
SAT: 17
SUN: 4

After 82 games in five days, I can finally move my secondary TV back to the bedroom.

This bracket sucks. There’s only four “mid-major” at-larges, out of 34.

This is because the NCAA added two regular season games, which lets .500 major conference teams get into the tournament.

Now, if you go 9-9 in the Pac 10 or Big Ten, with those two extra games, you can be 21-11, 20-12, 19-13 and be in the NCAA Tournament instead of 19-11, 18-12, 17-13 and be out of the tournament.

It’s a complete and total joke that some of these big conference teams got in. Didn’t the regular season already prove that Minnesota, Wisconsin, Maryland, and Arizona couldn’t compete for a championship?

We already KNOW that Maryland isn’t as good as Duke, UNC, Wake, Florida State and Clemson. Because they played them ELEVEN TIMES and lost NINE.

We know that Minnesota and Wisconsin aren’t as good as Michigan State, Illinois and Purdue.
Wisconsin: 2-5 vs Mich St, Illinois, Purdue and Ohio State, plus losses to UConn, Marquette, Texas and two to Minnesota. That’s 4-10 vs NCAA teams. We know they aren’t capable of going to the elite 8.

Minnesota is 0-5 vs MSU, Illinois and Purdue. 3-8 vs NCAA teams (taking out Wisconsin)

Arizona: 6-11 vs the top 75 of the RPI (and two of those wins are against teams who didn’t earn at-larges)

Oklahoma State: 4-10 vs top 50, 9-11 vs the top 100. They got a great RPI by LOSING. Against Oklahoma, Michigan St, Mizzou, Kansas, Washington and Gonzaga they went 1-8. Wins over Siena, Texas A&M, Texas (but losses to Texas and Texas A&M). They are mediocre.

We’re saying “Oh, well, they played a ton of tough teams and got a couple victories, they’re an NCAA team.” That’s rewarding mediocre teams for losing to good teams. And that’s stupid.


Lundi Gras Stream of Conciousness

February 22, 2009

First off, my superstition will probably become neurotic behavior now. We won again, giving us wins over the top two teams in the conference this weekend, thanks in no part to me wearing the same wardrobe ensemble for both games. Looks like my packing for next weekend is incredibly easy, since we’re in must-win mode from here on out.

My condolances to all of you reading this at work. You see, in New Orleans, we get these two days off to enjoy drunken debauchery before Lent. I’m not sure why, and quite frankly, I don’t care. The fact is, I’m sleeping in and going to a massive city-wide party this afternoon instead of sitting behind my desk and having meetings. Lather, Rinse, Repeat Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, I leave town. How about a half-day work week? Sometimes being me doesn’t suck so bad.

Why is everyone making a big deal about how the government bailed out banks like Citi, but Citi has a multi-million corporate sponsorship deal with the Mets new stadium?
What about all the other bank-sponsored sports venues? Or Ford Field, General Motors Place; or American Airlines Center, AA Arena, United Center, Delta Center, Southwest Arena. etc, etc.
Or the billions Ford and GM spend on racing every year?

Oscars: Funny how Benjamin Button wins all kinds of awards when it’s the exact same plot as Forest Gump. Funny how Heath Ledger won for Dark Knight and Jack Nicholson didn’t get crap for Batman. Amazing how you become a genius the second you die. Musicals are really bad and stupid.

Nice job by Arizona State fans storming the floor when they are ranked #14 in the country and beat an unranked Arizona team. Wake is off the hook for worst-court-storming this season.

I really have this urge to spread crappy 80s lyrics to everyone. I think I’m just going to start posting random songs on the facebook walls of people for no reason.


Stream of Consciousness III

January 10, 2009

I love my job because of the fact that if I had to get a real job, I wouldn’t get to experience winning. Oh sure, if I was a corporate business man, we might break a sales record. But are they going to hang a banner in the rafters above the cubicles? No, they ain’t taking my ring size for that. Then again, if I worked in a cube, I’d never know the frustration of blowing an 18-point lead and losing on a pair of free throws with 1.9 seconds left.

Jack is back Sunday. I am excited. Speaking of Jack Bauer, I think you could build an entire season of 24 around Obama’s Blackberry.

Patrick Swayze was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. This is not good. It’s only Jan. 10. He’s got to make it the whole year, because I did not pick him in the death pool.

Speaking of the Death Pool, The Death Pool Page is finally updated and finalized.

Humidor page, too

An actor who played a wannabe mobster in “The Sopranos” was sentenced Friday to 10 years in prison for a botched burglary that left an off-duty New York police officer dead. This makes me feel less guilty about illegally downloading the Soprano’s to watch on my computer. It’s difficult to watch the show and not want to get in on the act of criminal activity.

Does anyone else ever watch Classic replays of games they saw, in which their team loses, but they can’t look away? Watching the Mets lose Game Seven of the 2006 NLCS makes me want to Pull out my own eye and eat it.

I’ll repeat: THE MAN IN THE LINK PULLS OUT HIS OWN FREAKING EYE AND EATS IT!!! Holy hell, how messed up is that?