Stream of Consciousness II

December 30, 2008

The annoying nagging of my mom over the Holidays was no where near as annoying as the yelping, potentially injured cat in my apartment complex courtyard, or the domestic arguments of my neighbors through paper thin walls. Much less gross to hear their sex, though (neighbors and the cat).

How does James Lipton be one of those elitist pricks who study the concepts of art and theatre and are “classically trained” (whatever that means) without coming off like an actual elitist prick? For a person who’s entire life is basically over intellectualizing people playing pretend, he’s charismatic as hell to pull that off.

This is the best time of the year: When I don’t have to go to the office and my workday only involves getting ready for the next event from the comfort of my own home/bed/porch.

Why does drinking during the daytime have such an allure?

I also learned (from James Lipton) that each noun has a specific phrase for the collective (i.e. A flock of seagulls, or a murder of crows). So, perhaps my post about five-year olds banding together should have used the collective “a pandemonium of toddlers,” which is unofficial and suggested by the folks at www.openbrackets.com. But I thought it extremely apt considering my literary circumstance.

For every commerical and article about “going green” and trying to save the planet… how come no one has tackled the biggest offender in over-use of garbage materials:¬† Dress shirt packaging? My God. There’s a wrapper, a hanging tag, two size stickers, a plastic inside the collar, cardboard under the collar, a plastic tab at the top button, a piece of cardboard down the back, and about 13 pins pointed the wrong direction (of which you can only find 12).

One of the main reasons I decided living in the south wouldn’t be a bad thing was the weather. When I was outside Kate’s gym in whatever state she’s living now, it was really freaking cold.

I had always believed that everyone but me has a great awesome time on New Year’s Eve, and I’m the only one having a boring time and no fun. But now I know that about 67% of people have mediocre New Year’s Eve’s. Mine will be mediocre because I have a 6 am flight New Year’s Day to El Paso, Texas. I don’t like El Paso because it combines three of my least favorite things: ridiculously long travel days, Texas and Mexico.


Stream of Consciousness

December 18, 2008

No longer “The Ramblings” because that was a stolen idea

Kind of funny that I spend all my time telling our students not to put anything online that could get them in trouble. Then I start this site. I guess the difference is that they have something to lose and I don’t. Also, someone might actually SEE their Facebook. I think I know the 12 people visiting per day by name (Welcome to the club… Eric!)

My current philosophy on Christmas gifts is: I only buy gifts if we’re related, or I am trying to make out with you and think the gift will seal it. And I’ve actually had to cut that down because I am related to too many people now. Every year some dumbass goes and gets me something even though they aren’t related. I should just yell “No I will not make out with you!” and leave them holding the gift. But no. Now I have to buy a gift for a co-worker because he keeps giving me things. He’s a MAN. A beer is a perfectly acceptable acknowledgement of our friendship. A pat on the rear may be substituted if we are on an athletic field and I make a nice play, but there is no need for gift giving.

Why does your apartment complex (or some neighbor) always decide its a good time to mow, weed whack or leaf blow on the one day you have off to sleep in?

As much as I love technology, I can’t help but feel that science and technology have failed us. I’m not talking about the Jetson’s flying car that folds into a briefcase. I’m talking about useful things:

Im okay without the flying car, just get me a copier that works and inpenatrable synthetic teeth enamel
I’m okay without the flying car, just get me a copier that works and inpenatrable synthetic teeth enamel

Like a copier that works (C’mon, how hard is it to coat the insides in teflon so papers don’t jam? And couldn’t it know the average weight of paper, weigh the tray, do some math, and warn you that there isn’t enough to finish the job before you push start and walk away?)
And why do we have pills to get our grandfather’s dicks hard, but we haven’t eliminated dentistry? Why not synthetic enamel that is inpenatrable to acids/sugars/plaque/cavities/stuff between your teeth? Age 12, get the wisdom teeth pulled and have this sprayed on. How hard is that?

Is there any reason on the planet that companies should use Microsoft Outlook? I tried exporting all of my Thunderbird email lists to Outlook. I googled how to do it, and the only results were 9 million results for going from Outlook to Thunderbird; The only entry for going from Thunderbird TO Outlook was a forum post which read: “Why would you want to?”

How hard would it be for the NBA to set up some kind of program to let college kids know they shouldn’t go to the NBA early? Just a “hey, none of the 30 teams has you in their top 60. Stay in school.”

Regular mail is way too time consuming. My first thought when someone asked me to mail them a check was “you don’t have PayPal?”

So my cable company wants money from the last two months. A Fair request. However, they keep calling my cell phone at random times. I do not answer. Or, I answer and hang up on them. Now they have turned off my cable box (but basic cable still works by bypassing the box. Odd. Why would I pay other than my romantic relationship with my DVR?). Now I am WAITING for a call so I can pay my bill and get my DVR back. Naturally, instead of calling twice a day, they call every other day. And when I answer, they hang up on me. I’m not sure if I am pissed, or secretly impressed.

Rebel, Rebel, Yeah:

Breakin' the Rules!

Breakin' the Rules!