And the Seventh Seal Was Opened…

October 26, 2009

This is quite probably the worst season in the history of baseball.

The Mets have 24 of their 50 players spend time on the disabled list, $119 million worth of their $140 million payroll, and they finish in fourth place with a mere 70 wins.

The Phillies, after running their mouth all off-season, win the East and make the World Series again.

They face the Yankees, the team we’ve hated since the mid-90s because every time they win, we have to hear about it, and even won a World Series on our field in 2000.

Mets fans are divided in whom to root for and who’s the lesser of two evils.

For me, it’s simple: I’m rooting for the Yankees.

I’ve accepted the fact that the Mets aren’t catching the Yankees in terms of Championships (score thus far: 26 to 2), at least not in my lifetime. (although, iince I can remember, it’s only 4-to-1). And anytime the Yankee fans in my life throw “26 Championships” at me, I point out they’ve only won seven since my team existed, and only four in that fan’s lifetime. The difference between 26 and 27 is nothing.

Philly on the other hand, pissed and moaned in 2006 when we won the division, saying we “celebrated too much” and called us classless for enjoying winning (when they do the exact same thing). They beat us while we choked in 2007. Beat us again in 2008 and then won the World Series, and a 2009 Championship for the Phillies would really make the 2010 season miserable for me as well.

If the Phils win the World Series again, then if/when the Mets win the 2010 World Series, all their whiny players who talk trash will bust out things like “The Mets are halfway there. Now they have to win it again to match us.”

Picking whom to root for in a Phillies-Yankees World Series is like picking which inmate gets to rape you in the prison shower: You identify the biggest cock, and pick the other guy.

A vast number of Yankee fans can be dicks. Their players haven’t really ever been dicks to the Mets, except Roger Clemens, who’s steroid-riddled ass is now in retirement.

The Phillies on the other hand, are complete and total dicks.

I don’t say this often, so listen up: “Let’s Go Yan-kees”