Welcome to the 21st Century

January 27, 2010

As you may recall, a while back, I commented how my phone sucked and I needed an upgrade, to an awesome, Jack Bauer worthy, phone.

Well, I now have a Blackberry Bold 9700

I'd post a picture of mine, but my camera is on the Blackberry, duh.

It’s quite enjoyable after going through life with a phone that only calls, and texts, and occasionally has a working alarm.

I’m still trying to figure some things out (Blackberry Messenger? Add me as a contact! kevfu@att.blackberry.net). But soon, I’m sure I’ll figure out how to stream video of sports on it.  And, because I needed a Jack Bauer worthy phone, my message tone is the CTU phone sound, and my ring tone is the beeping 24 clock.

Twenty Four for 24

January 18, 2010

So I was watching ESPN’s series 30 for 30 after I was watching the season premier of 24. And I got the idea for the title. So here’s 24 thoughts from the season premier of 24.

1. I spent the entire two hours hating the new bad guy just because of how he looks. He just looks annoying. Then I realized he’s Percy from The Green Mile. And I feel justified in hating him.

2. The new head of CTU? Bubba Blue from Forest Gump.  Somehow, I actually think he’s going to live this season.

3. Baby Terri is a really ugly baby.

4. Ok, there’s items in which 24 needs to use to do something they have to do each season to keep the plot moving without resorting to the same old tired things they’ve done before. But The last one is new and ridiculous reasons to drag Jack back in. Like the NY CTU is going to let Jack just run an op with no official status. “Hey, be a vigilante! It okay! Take some guns!”  If they just said “Jack, you’ve saved the world like 18 times the last 15 years. You’re the best, we need you.” After all, he just brought to their attention a plot to kill a president at the U.N.

5. How about Bubba just listens to the guy who brought them a very real credible threat. And we know it’s a credible threat since the bad guys killed two CTU agents.

6. Chloe not being the best? See, there’s a good wrinkle.

7. What’s the big deal with CTU taking down the reporter. Never trust any member of the media, period.

8. Already rooting for Freddie Prinze, Jr. to die.

9. Ok, I realize Freddie is playing a CTU agent, and isn’t Freddie Prinze, Jr., but he could do so much better than the ugly chick he’s working with at CTU, Dana Walsh.

10. Highly doubt a sitting president gets divorced while in office. I’d think their lawyers would use the obvious leverage of “we’ll give you everything you want in the divorce if we don’t actually do the divorce while we’re living in the White House.”

11. Also highly doubt Kim Bauer tells her dad to go risk his life. I think by now, her mindset would be more “How many times are you going to cheat death? Get on the freaking plane.”

12. I also love how Kim Bauer did the first three seasons before leaving the show to advance her career. And now she keeps coming back because she has nothing better to do. Well, besides hockey players.

13. Why is Dana so worried about that dude calling destroying her new life? What could she possibly have in her past that would come back to haunt her? She was arrested? Murdered a person? Was a drug addict? Jack’s done all of the above and he’s the greatest CTU agent in history. Unless she was in a terrorist cell (which I don’t think they have in trailer parks) I think she’ll be fine.

14. The NY CTU? Wow, what a waste of money. Do we really need an interrogation room door that opens electronically from above? Hinges are really cheap and really efficient.

15. And yet, Jack somehow knows his way around it quite easily, despite having never met the boss or anyone who works there but Chloe.

16. They also have easily accessible parking for people, like Kim. Kim shouldn’t have any idea where CTU is, since she doesn’t work for them, nor has she ever. Nor has Jack. Yet they know how to get to their underground bunker.

17. Speaking of, I think the most unrealistic part of 24 season eight after two episodes wouldn’t be that Victor Aruz found his old contact Jack Bauer about five years and a fake deaths after working for him as a contact in CTU LA, but that he got a parking space right out front.

18. A game show host in India is also the President of Kamistan.

19. And while we’re all thinking its his brother or wife who’s the inside person trying to kill him, it’s probably the younger chick.

20. I figured that Jack’s visit with a Muslim Imam at the end of last season brought him peace, they could get away with using a real country this time, instead of “Kamistan” and say “hey, the hero is a Muslim who FIGHTS terror.”

21. I don’t expect to hear about the three guys who got murdered in the first episode ever again. Why would anyone notice some random people got shot in New York City.

22. But when they show the news on TV, they need to mention the two cops gunned down in an alley by machine guns and the ROCKET LAUNCHER EXPLOSION that occurred on West 21st and Ninth Ave.

23. Two hours and two deaths? One by accident? I mean, axe to the chest was pretty cool, but the other guy just fell. Then again, that’s something kinda real. He should have shrugged like “alright, quicker than I thought.”

24. They changed the clock that goes to and from commercials. The colon between hour and minutes and minutes and seconds used to be spaced in the middle of the numbers. But now the dots are way lower.

Yes. I’m a loser.

Stream of Consciousness VI: A New Beginning

May 20, 2009

More random thoughts

I think I’ve been working in photoshop too much when my response to a friend who has to paint the walls inside his house is “Just use the paint bucket, it’ll take like 12 seconds.”

Ever slack so much in a week at work that one day you have like three things you need to do and it seems like you worked all day? Yeah, me neither.

The idea of labeling these updates like movie sequels was fantastic. Well, until the viewers start thinking “Again? Can’t this guy just stay dead?” Don’t worry, I’m not going to pull “The Final Consciousness” only to comeback a while later with “KevFu Lives.” But I’m definitely not ruling out “KevFu goes to Hell” and “KevFu Takes Manhattan.”

I had no idea how much working baseball games completely sucked away my ability to have interesting things happen to me, but here we are. End of an eight-game home stand, and I realize I’ve written nothing in the past week.

This might be blasphemy, but the finale of Fringe was much better than the finale of 24. I think it’s time to freshen up 24 by putting a Director of Common Sense in the writer’s room. And also to go for broke. No new fans are coming in unless the old fans recruit them. So give us what we want. I think I’d make an entire episode of one interrogation by Jack Bauer, with torture escalating and escalating until the viewer is mildly uncomfortable. Speaking of season finale’s, did the My Boys season just start? What is this, a six-episode season? And no, watching that doesn’t make me gay.

Maybe I should play the lottery. My friend is getting married, she picked Nov. 28 as the date. I figured “no F’ing chance” of me not having games to work. But, lo and behold, we have no women’s hoops and no volleyball. Have football on the road, might have men’s hoops, but that’s only a three-person commitment, so I should be free!

You’d think that having a vast arsonel of free, cheap liquor would be awesome (and short-lived), but there’s just no way to get rid of this stuff.

Phone Home

January 13, 2009

Erin Andrews has a redheaded sister. If she was kicking ass on the new season of 24, I’d be in love.

My phone hasn’t been able to text message for five days. So I was excited that CLM found a way to send me one: via post-it left on my desk. I was going to take a picture of it with my camera phone and post it here, so you could see my glorious text. But then I realized the only way to get it off my phone was via text message. So screw that.

Old Phone

Old Phone

Speaking of my cell phone and of 24, every year, people make a big deal about how Jack Bauer has a ridiculous cell phone that can do things that no cell phone in existence can do. But this is a stupid comment. Of course it can do ridiculous things. The current season takes place in the future.

In 2000, when the series debuted, it was the day of the California Presidential Primary, which occurs in March of an election year. Since the show came out in October of 2000, we know that Season 1 was in March of 2004.

Time for an upgrade?

Time for an upgrade?

Season two would be: September/October 2005

Season three: September/October 2008

Season four: March/April 2010 (second year of next presidency)

Season five: September/October 2011 Jan)

Season six: May/June 2013

Season seven: Spring 2017

So naturally his phone can do all kinds of awesome stuff (All their computers, too), because he has a phone from the future. I’d like to get me one of those phones from the future, because mine sucks.

When you set up automatic bill pay online, it’s really important to put in your account number and not your old one. Because that’s how you end up coming home to a dark apartment and realizing you need to go to the bar across the street and take advantage of their free wireless internet to pay your bills immediately, charge your cell phone, eat dinner, and kill time until it’s bed time (which is going to be really early tonight).

Stream of Consciousness III

January 10, 2009

I love my job because of the fact that if I had to get a real job, I wouldn’t get to experience winning. Oh sure, if I was a corporate business man, we might break a sales record. But are they going to hang a banner in the rafters above the cubicles? No, they ain’t taking my ring size for that. Then again, if I worked in a cube, I’d never know the frustration of blowing an 18-point lead and losing on a pair of free throws with 1.9 seconds left.

Jack is back Sunday. I am excited. Speaking of Jack Bauer, I think you could build an entire season of 24 around Obama’s Blackberry.

Patrick Swayze was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. This is not good. It’s only Jan. 10. He’s got to make it the whole year, because I did not pick him in the death pool.

Speaking of the Death Pool, The Death Pool Page is finally updated and finalized.

Humidor page, too

An actor who played a wannabe mobster in “The Sopranos” was sentenced Friday to 10 years in prison for a botched burglary that left an off-duty New York police officer dead. This makes me feel less guilty about illegally downloading the Soprano’s to watch on my computer. It’s difficult to watch the show and not want to get in on the act of criminal activity.

Does anyone else ever watch Classic replays of games they saw, in which their team loses, but they can’t look away? Watching the Mets lose Game Seven of the 2006 NLCS makes me want to Pull out my own eye and eat it.

I’ll repeat: THE MAN IN THE LINK PULLS OUT HIS OWN FREAKING EYE AND EATS IT!!! Holy hell, how messed up is that?