Funeral Phanatics

April 17, 2009

Phillies broadcaster Harry Kalas died this week. And while you’re probably expecting some joke because I hate the Phillies, I am way classier than that. Here’s my question though. When a guy associated with a team for 30 years passes, everyone from the organization is going to go to the memorial service, right?

Well what about the mascot, the Philly Phanatic? I think he should go.

Philly Phanatic

Philly Phanatic

#1 – He’s one of the symbols of the franchise. His paying respects is a symbolic gesture.

#2 – Unlike a lot of mascots, the Philly Phanatic’s expression isn’t a broad smile, which would be slightly inappropriate for a funeral.

However, not mine. I’d love to have a mascot, or several, at my funeral. That’s be awesome. I’ m sure there would be children at my funeral. And I don’t want them sad. So the mascots could cheer them up.

The mascot attendance list for my funeral would include (but not be limited to):

Mr. Met (only time black outfit is appropriate!)

Mr. Met (only time black outfit is appropriate!)

Iceburgh (Pittsburgh Penguins)

Iceburgh (Pittsburgh Penguins)

Big Red (Western Kentucky)

Big Red (Western Kentucky)

Big Red (Western Kentucky)

The Saint Josephs Hawk...

The Saint Joseph's Hawk...

The Hawk would be awesome because he’d have to flap his arms the whole time. High comedy.

The New Jersey Devil

The New Jersey Devil

New Jersey Devil (New Jersey Devils)

Now that would be high comedy. Also, can someone get this guy a name? His name is New Jersey Devil.

I’m sure there’s more awesome mascots who could come to my funeral. Since I hate the Phillies, maybe the Phanatic could dance on my grave.

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