No, I Haven’t “Adjusted” to California Yet.

March 8, 2011

It’s still weird because that when I’m chatting online or via text with friends, they often say good night to me when I haven’t had dinner (or sometimes LUNCH), let alone left work yet.

How hasn’t a court of law revoked the right of California Pizza Kitchen to call their food pizza?

My internal clock for what time of day it is has no correlation with real time. It seems like it is 11 pm on a Sunday at 7 p.m. (probably because football ends). It feels like it’s 9 p.m. when it’s 2 a.m. sometimes. This kind of thing happened before, just not at this frequency.

Why are there avacados on everything out here?

Watching CNN or ESPN at night sucks, because after about 20 minutes, you realize it’s all old news from about three hours ago you’re watching on tape.

I’ve never owned a gun or even fired anything other than a rifle at a camp once. But these people out here make me seem like Charlton Heston when the topics of guns comes up. People I view as otherwise normal sound like crazy hippies. I know it’s a stereotype, but the culture out here really is that everyone has hidden hippie-thought tendencies.

While the weather people on TV in every state make impending weather sound like the most significant development of all time through hyperbole, the citizens of this area have adopted this concept that “rain” is some kind of state of emergency.

Everyone here seems to have some kind of “tanning” strategy. Even the Asians (although it’s “I don’t need to tan, I’m Asian.”)

I can’t buy a 150-watt lightbulb unless I get the $9 energy saving kind that don’t really light up to 150 watts worth of brightness.

Seeing people sign on to Facebook, or send me emails  when they’re clearly getting up in the morning and I’m still up “the day before” is downright weird. It makes me feel like I’m on another continent or across the world.

Every airport gate in California has at least one guy playing a guitar.

And of course, my late games. One of the best parts of championship week is that there’s games from like 11 am to 1 am. Out here, I got back from dinner and every game was over.

Adjusting to California (Motorist Edition)

November 9, 2010

One thing I don’t get about California is the attitude towards two-lane streets. There’s a road with two lanes in each direction on my way to work… and there’s a couple of stop signs on it. Why would you have a four-way stop sign on a road that’s four lanes wide total? If it’s got so much traffic on it you need two lanes, then it’s got enough traffic to put a stop light up.

I have to cross the end of that street, still four lanes wide, to walk into my office. And when you step into the shoulder, people 100 feet away will come to a stop and wait for you to cross. It baffles me. There’s four lanes. There’s plenty of room/time for me to walk across the street and dodge you. Just keep your speed and I’ll avoid you. I feel like a jerk when you stop. I’m not a school boy, I can cross the street without getting hit.