The New Capital of the World: Stockton.

August 28, 2010

I signed up for cable on Monday. They told me the earliest they could get out to hook it up is in three weeks.

It’s a freaking cable box. I plug the cables into the back and its done. Can’t I just pick the thing up? I know it’s HD, but I have a college degree, I can handle five cords.

There is no conceivable reason for this to take three weeks.   They do installs from 9-5, Monday through Saturday. Let’s say it’s one guy working all 48 hours, and that guy completes one install every half hour. That means I’m the 288th household in line.

The 288 new households equates to a population growth rate of 13.8% for the metro area. PER INSTALL GUY.

I saw three trucks on the street on Thursday. Now, it’s probably three people working a combined 96 hours for two install “guys” per week.  Which means there’s really 576 new households. That’s a population growth rate of 17.5%

That’s only like 63rd in the country. But those rates are over a 10-year period from 2000 to 2010. So, we’d really be at a 92.9% growth rate. Which is easily the highest in America and well over twice the growth rate of the Mormon capital of the world (of course, their households are limited to one new member per nine months).

So, what AT&T Cable is trying to tell me is that: A) they have three install guys and B) In 2020, the population of Stockton, California will go from 674,860 people in 2009 to 6.3 million.

Or maybe I have this all wrong and they have more install guys. If they have a team of say, 21 install guys, that means I’m 4032nd in line (which would make it easier to accept a three-week wait). But that means in 10 years we’ll have 39.9 million people and be 7 million people larger than Tokyo, the current largest city in the world.

I don’t even want to consider the ramification of the fact that we have TWO cable companies. All things being equal, this metro area would be the size of the 18th largest country in the world and over 1% of the world’s population would live here in 2020.  Hmmm. Maybe we could get our own MLB and NHL teams (Not that I could watch them on cable).

Just bring me the cable box already. I clearly need the entertainment.

Stream of Consciousness

December 18, 2008

No longer “The Ramblings” because that was a stolen idea

Kind of funny that I spend all my time telling our students not to put anything online that could get them in trouble. Then I start this site. I guess the difference is that they have something to lose and I don’t. Also, someone might actually SEE their Facebook. I think I know the 12 people visiting per day by name (Welcome to the club… Eric!)

My current philosophy on Christmas gifts is: I only buy gifts if we’re related, or I am trying to make out with you and think the gift will seal it. And I’ve actually had to cut that down because I am related to too many people now. Every year some dumbass goes and gets me something even though they aren’t related. I should just yell “No I will not make out with you!” and leave them holding the gift. But no. Now I have to buy a gift for a co-worker because he keeps giving me things. He’s a MAN. A beer is a perfectly acceptable acknowledgement of our friendship. A pat on the rear may be substituted if we are on an athletic field and I make a nice play, but there is no need for gift giving.

Why does your apartment complex (or some neighbor) always decide its a good time to mow, weed whack or leaf blow on the one day you have off to sleep in?

As much as I love technology, I can’t help but feel that science and technology have failed us. I’m not talking about the Jetson’s flying car that folds into a briefcase. I’m talking about useful things:

Im okay without the flying car, just get me a copier that works and inpenatrable synthetic teeth enamel
I’m okay without the flying car, just get me a copier that works and inpenatrable synthetic teeth enamel

Like a copier that works (C’mon, how hard is it to coat the insides in teflon so papers don’t jam? And couldn’t it know the average weight of paper, weigh the tray, do some math, and warn you that there isn’t enough to finish the job before you push start and walk away?)
And why do we have pills to get our grandfather’s dicks hard, but we haven’t eliminated dentistry? Why not synthetic enamel that is inpenatrable to acids/sugars/plaque/cavities/stuff between your teeth? Age 12, get the wisdom teeth pulled and have this sprayed on. How hard is that?

Is there any reason on the planet that companies should use Microsoft Outlook? I tried exporting all of my Thunderbird email lists to Outlook. I googled how to do it, and the only results were 9 million results for going from Outlook to Thunderbird; The only entry for going from Thunderbird TO Outlook was a forum post which read: “Why would you want to?”

How hard would it be for the NBA to set up some kind of program to let college kids know they shouldn’t go to the NBA early? Just a “hey, none of the 30 teams has you in their top 60. Stay in school.”

Regular mail is way too time consuming. My first thought when someone asked me to mail them a check was “you don’t have PayPal?”

So my cable company wants money from the last two months. A Fair request. However, they keep calling my cell phone at random times. I do not answer. Or, I answer and hang up on them. Now they have turned off my cable box (but basic cable still works by bypassing the box. Odd. Why would I pay other than my romantic relationship with my DVR?). Now I am WAITING for a call so I can pay my bill and get my DVR back. Naturally, instead of calling twice a day, they call every other day. And when I answer, they hang up on me. I’m not sure if I am pissed, or secretly impressed.

Rebel, Rebel, Yeah:

Breakin' the Rules!

Breakin' the Rules!