How I Met A Vocal Surgeon

March 23, 2011

How I Met Your Mother has been on for six seasons, starting in 2005. They occasionally do a flash back to when the characters were in college.  Since we know Ted and company started the series at age 27 — I know that because when I first watch the show, I realized “That’s my age” —  that would mean when they are freshmen in college, they are flashing back to 1996. A season one flash back would be going back nine years, and a season six flashback going 14 years into the past.

In each of those flashbacks, the characters look and talk almost exactly the same as their present-life counterparts. Usually a different hair style and definitely different clothes. But their voices are identical.

So why is that 14 years ago, Ted had the same voice, but 19 years into the future Ted sounds nothing like Ted, but exactly like Bob Saget?

Certain things can change your voice, like whiskey or smoking. But we know smoking can’t change his voice that drastically, because Ted’s now closer to quitting smoking than before. And his voice is still the same as it was in series one.  Daniel Stern doing Kevin Arnold’s narration in The Wonder Years made perfect sense because Kevin Arnold hadn’t hit puberty yet.

I keep waiting for the episode where Ted he has something land on his throat and requires surgery.

And, We’re Dumb

March 22, 2011

So I’m at dinner with a couple coworkers. And we have the waitress divide up our check.

And my friend says “Hey, can you spot me? I left my wallet in my other pants…”

I say nothing. So he keeps talking.

“I went home, changed into some jeans, and left my wallet in my pants. So can you spot me? I’ll get you back tomorrow….  I’m good for it. Why do you look confused?”

With both my hands in the pockets of my jeans, I replied: “I’m not confused, I’m realizing that I did the same thing.”

Lack of Updates Explained

March 21, 2011

Why haven’t there been many updates you ask? Well, I’ll tell you why.

In the last three weeks, I’ve been to Irvine (2 days), Fullerton (2 days), Stockton (3 days), Myrtle Beach/Conway, S.C, (6 days), Stockton (3 days), Northridge (2 days), Stockton (1 day), Santa Barbara (2 day), Anaheim (2 days), Reno (3 days), and now I’m back. So that’s 19 of 26 days spent on the road (Plus a couple days at the end where I cleaned out my DVR instead of writing).

I kept putting the key from the wrong hotel into my current room (when I could remember the room number at all). I saw the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean, the sun set over the Pacific ocean, I saw the Hollywood sign on a gorgeous 70 degree day, and I saw the snow capped Sierra Nevada mountains a day later. It was a bright sunny day in the foreground with the snowy mountains in the background, and I saw it snow in southern California. I rode in a bus with no AC when it was 80 and a bus with no heat when it was 50 (and it was the same bus). I wore the same suit roughly five times, took part in three Breast Cancer Awareness days (in the same pink shirt). I climbed onto a bus roughly 140 times and saw someone ride in the overhead compartment. I had a 80 dollar seven-course meal… a few hours after I had a ballpark pretzel and hot dog. I was in the worst gym I’ve ever seen, and I sat in a suite as the Staples Center.

I saw my teams lose to someone who was 2-10, and beat a team in their home gym after losing 24 straight at there place (which was predicted quite accurately by myself and a travel party member. She said we’d win by four on free throws, I said we’d win 46-44, a ridiculously low score, on a basket by a specific player. We won 49-45 on free throws by the player I named. We were both right).

It made me realize that despite the long hours and being overworked, while not making much money, the perks in my job are pretty ridiculous and have let me have some pretty awesome experiences. Along with all those things, my job(s) have also put me in a place to see George Mason’s Cinderella Final Four run begin with wins over Michigan State and North Carolina; LeBron James play in person; A 27-0 and No. 1 Saint Joseph’s team lose for the first game that season (by a lot), a number of conference championships both regular season and tournament, go to a number NBA/NHL arenas and about a third of college basketball arenas, have an all-inclusive trip to Cancun. I’ve met coaching legends, seen future NBA All-Stars, talked basketball with Rick Pitino, bracketology with Joe Lunardi, baseball with a World Series MVP. I’ve met amazing people who aren’t famous but mean a hell of a lot more to me. I’ve seen grown my cry both tears of joy and loss, and when one girl scored a career-high including a game-winning shot while wearing a pink uniform and honoring the mother she lost to breast cancer, tears that I still haven’t figured out what they meant other than you just couldn’t help get caught up in the pure emotion.

Jim Valvano said “You laugh, you think, you cry… that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day.”  So when I don’t update this site, I’m probably having a heck of a day.


March 17, 2011

I’m watching college basketball and baseball. Might bring you something worthwhile in a week or so. But probably not. Why start now?

Due to my journalism degree and job writing press releases, when I am instant messaging with people, or texting, I don’t change how I type (maybe “tho” or “nite”) to make things quicker. I simply can’t. Without thinking, I’ll automatically go back and fix any typos that I notice while IM or texting. Even if I’ve had a few drinks. I was once texting someone who was drunk, after I had a few drinks. I couldn’t understand what they meant to type. So I put on some gloves and typed what they wrote without correcting it. It was like a crowning achievement in code-breaking.

I read the book “Legacy of Ashes” The History of the CIA. And after reading that, I am fully convinced that the US intelligence doesn’t have the skills to coordinate any type of conspiracy, ever.


If a CIA hit squad was behind JFK’s assassination, it would have been discovered within minutes. Because at least one other CIA hit squad would have been there, trying to do the same job at the same time unaware that a different field office had the exact same idea/plan. And two squads would be there protecting JFK after hearing from one of their spy contacts that it was happening.


No, I Haven’t “Adjusted” to California Yet.

March 8, 2011

It’s still weird because that when I’m chatting online or via text with friends, they often say good night to me when I haven’t had dinner (or sometimes LUNCH), let alone left work yet.

How hasn’t a court of law revoked the right of California Pizza Kitchen to call their food pizza?

My internal clock for what time of day it is has no correlation with real time. It seems like it is 11 pm on a Sunday at 7 p.m. (probably because football ends). It feels like it’s 9 p.m. when it’s 2 a.m. sometimes. This kind of thing happened before, just not at this frequency.

Why are there avacados on everything out here?

Watching CNN or ESPN at night sucks, because after about 20 minutes, you realize it’s all old news from about three hours ago you’re watching on tape.

I’ve never owned a gun or even fired anything other than a rifle at a camp once. But these people out here make me seem like Charlton Heston when the topics of guns comes up. People I view as otherwise normal sound like crazy hippies. I know it’s a stereotype, but the culture out here really is that everyone has hidden hippie-thought tendencies.

While the weather people on TV in every state make impending weather sound like the most significant development of all time through hyperbole, the citizens of this area have adopted this concept that “rain” is some kind of state of emergency.

Everyone here seems to have some kind of “tanning” strategy. Even the Asians (although it’s “I don’t need to tan, I’m Asian.”)

I can’t buy a 150-watt lightbulb unless I get the $9 energy saving kind that don’t really light up to 150 watts worth of brightness.

Seeing people sign on to Facebook, or send me emails  when they’re clearly getting up in the morning and I’m still up “the day before” is downright weird. It makes me feel like I’m on another continent or across the world.

Every airport gate in California has at least one guy playing a guitar.

And of course, my late games. One of the best parts of championship week is that there’s games from like 11 am to 1 am. Out here, I got back from dinner and every game was over.