Why I Heart Athletic Trainers (Vol. 1-29)

Athletic Trainers are awesome. I thought I’d tell you why.

 

  1. The stress in their lives is remarkably similar to the stress in mine. Which makes them ideal people to empathize, sympathize and have drinks with.
  2. Health care is expensive, yet they carry around all kinds of stuff when you’re not feeling well that they will just give you for free.
  3. When you go into the training room, they have all kinds of fun stuff to play with. Like the hammer. I imagine their downtime is quite awesome. You can build tongue-depressor sculptures, or make cow udder balloon animals.
  4. They’re always there when you have to ask “Is my tie straight?” and will fix a collar when necessary.
  5. If your beverage is warm, they always have ice.
  6. When you need something bizarre and random, they just might have something that will work. Because they can make all kinds of things using tape, tongue depressors, those long Q-tip shafts, or whatever. They are modern day McGyvers. (Although, to be fair, the equipment managers are even better at this)
  7. Two words: Stim Machine.
  8. When you accidentally cut yourself shaving and get a drop of blood on your white dress shirt, they can get that right out.
  9. Part of their job is hydration. Which means, they bring you a cup of water when you’re on the radio.
  10. They dabble in video shooting occasionally.
  11. They always have tape and scissors.
  12. They hear things all day that would normally embarrass the average person to hear. So when you say something inappropriate, it rolls right off their back.
  13. When I have to Hurry Up And Wait, they’re standing there just as bored as me so I have someone to talk to.
  14. They can keep a secret.
  15. They look out for you and vice-verse because they know we don’t get communicated to enough.
  16. If you make “taking care of people” your profession, you pretty much have to be a decent human being, right?
  17. You can borrow a cooler from them.
  18. They can give you sophisticated ways to say crass things, such as where a person who lacks intelligence normally places their head.
  19. After losses, they’re the only one you can really talk to for about an hour or so.
  20. And they’ll always sit with you at meals.
  21. They obviously like sports.
  22. They usually have Gatorade.
  23. They even treat hangovers.
  24. Things you always wondered, but never bothered to check out, they can probably answer for you with no big deal required.
  25. They are great with menu suggestions. Especially when seeking healthy choices.
  26. They can get you in to see a doctor with no paperwork.
  27. When I said “They have ice” I mean they have that awesome shaved ice and not just the cubes.
  28. If you bring flavored syrups with you, you can make snow-cones. (Or if you steal sugar packets at breakfast, you can add them to Gatorade to make syrup for snow-cones).
  29. If you think you’ll look out of place in a sweatshirt and shorts, don’t worry, because odds are that’s what they’re wearing.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Athletic Trainers are far from perfect:  They’ll think you eat too much bacon, and their whole “call us athletic trainers” is both irritating and downright wrong (Grammatically, an “athletic trainer” is a trainer who’s got physical prowess. Most the trainers I know aren’t really all that athletic. I understand you don’t want people to know you take care of athletes, but I also work in college athletics so I know you don’t train horses. Make it an external distinction and quit jumping me when I use “trainer” internally!). They also go to bed way too early because they have to get up early, too, which limits the opportunities for social fun.

But they’re good people who help me out (ok, ok, I take advantage of) a lot.

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2 Responses to Why I Heart Athletic Trainers (Vol. 1-29)

  1. Andrea says:

    Thanks Kev! We <3 SID's too.

  2. Kevin says:

    I just found out March is “National Athletic Training Month.” That needs to go in with the whole “it’s ATHLETIC trainer” whining. You ATC’s are needy. Awesome, but needy.

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