The New Capital of the World: Stockton.

I signed up for cable on Monday. They told me the earliest they could get out to hook it up is in three weeks.

It’s a freaking cable box. I plug the cables into the back and its done. Can’t I just pick the thing up? I know it’s HD, but I have a college degree, I can handle five cords.

There is no conceivable reason for this to take three weeks.   They do installs from 9-5, Monday through Saturday. Let’s say it’s one guy working all 48 hours, and that guy completes one install every half hour. That means I’m the 288th household in line.

The 288 new households equates to a population growth rate of 13.8% for the metro area. PER INSTALL GUY.

I saw three trucks on the street on Thursday. Now, it’s probably three people working a combined 96 hours for two install “guys” per week.  Which means there’s really 576 new households. That’s a population growth rate of 17.5%

That’s only like 63rd in the country. But those rates are over a 10-year period from 2000 to 2010. So, we’d really be at a 92.9% growth rate. Which is easily the highest in America and well over twice the growth rate of the Mormon capital of the world (of course, their households are limited to one new member per nine months).

So, what AT&T Cable is trying to tell me is that: A) they have three install guys and B) In 2020, the population of Stockton, California will go from 674,860 people in 2009 to 6.3 million.

Or maybe I have this all wrong and they have more install guys. If they have a team of say, 21 install guys, that means I’m 4032nd in line (which would make it easier to accept a three-week wait). But that means in 10 years we’ll have 39.9 million people and be 7 million people larger than Tokyo, the current largest city in the world.

I don’t even want to consider the ramification of the fact that we have TWO cable companies. All things being equal, this metro area would be the size of the 18th largest country in the world and over 1% of the world’s population would live here in 2020.  Hmmm. Maybe we could get our own MLB and NHL teams (Not that I could watch them on cable).

Just bring me the cable box already. I clearly need the entertainment.


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