I Hate Birthdays on Facebook.

When you see someone on their birthday, you say “Happy Birthday!” and that’s the appropriate wishing of a happy birthday. In person, you say it when you walk in a door or when you run into them.

But it’s horrible when you’re with someone and run into the person with a birthday, and you’re beaten to the punch.

Other person: Happy birthday!
You: Yeah, happy birthday!

Your birthday wishes seem just bland, obligatory and meaningless, because the other person beat you and devalued them.

Now, on Facebook, you’re ALWAYS giving devalued birthday wishes.

Because even though you had the independant thought to wish them a happy birthday, someone probably beat you to the punch and you look like you’re just adding “oh yeah, happy birthday, too.”

Unless you are the very first, but you gotta wish them a happy birthday the night before, like right before midnight. But that’s like saying “Hey, I’m going to get this out of the way now, because your birthday is tomorrow, but that’s inconvenient for me.”

Of course, nothing is worse than when people write “Thanks for all the birthday wishes” on their facebook at like 11 am., and you haven’t yet wished them a happy birthday. It makes you look like a jackass who didn’t remember if you reply to THAT with “Happy Birthday!”

What kind of attention whore are you that you’d do that at 11 a.m.? 11 P.M. is perfectly fine, but not before the night is up. Wait until the next day to thank people.

Although, I can’t complain about Facebook birthday’s too much, since Facebook is really the only reason I remember most people’s birthdays to begin with.

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