Twenty Four for 24

So I was watching ESPN’s series 30 for 30 after I was watching the season premier of 24. And I got the idea for the title. So here’s 24 thoughts from the season premier of 24.

1. I spent the entire two hours hating the new bad guy just because of how he looks. He just looks annoying. Then I realized he’s Percy from The Green Mile. And I feel justified in hating him.

2. The new head of CTU? Bubba Blue from Forest Gump.  Somehow, I actually think he’s going to live this season.

3. Baby Terri is a really ugly baby.

4. Ok, there’s items in which 24 needs to use to do something they have to do each season to keep the plot moving without resorting to the same old tired things they’ve done before. But The last one is new and ridiculous reasons to drag Jack back in. Like the NY CTU is going to let Jack just run an op with no official status. “Hey, be a vigilante! It okay! Take some guns!”  If they just said “Jack, you’ve saved the world like 18 times the last 15 years. You’re the best, we need you.” After all, he just brought to their attention a plot to kill a president at the U.N.

5. How about Bubba just listens to the guy who brought them a very real credible threat. And we know it’s a credible threat since the bad guys killed two CTU agents.

6. Chloe not being the best? See, there’s a good wrinkle.

7. What’s the big deal with CTU taking down the reporter. Never trust any member of the media, period.

8. Already rooting for Freddie Prinze, Jr. to die.

9. Ok, I realize Freddie is playing a CTU agent, and isn’t Freddie Prinze, Jr., but he could do so much better than the ugly chick he’s working with at CTU, Dana Walsh.

10. Highly doubt a sitting president gets divorced while in office. I’d think their lawyers would use the obvious leverage of “we’ll give you everything you want in the divorce if we don’t actually do the divorce while we’re living in the White House.”

11. Also highly doubt Kim Bauer tells her dad to go risk his life. I think by now, her mindset would be more “How many times are you going to cheat death? Get on the freaking plane.”

12. I also love how Kim Bauer did the first three seasons before leaving the show to advance her career. And now she keeps coming back because she has nothing better to do. Well, besides hockey players.

13. Why is Dana so worried about that dude calling destroying her new life? What could she possibly have in her past that would come back to haunt her? She was arrested? Murdered a person? Was a drug addict? Jack’s done all of the above and he’s the greatest CTU agent in history. Unless she was in a terrorist cell (which I don’t think they have in trailer parks) I think she’ll be fine.

14. The NY CTU? Wow, what a waste of money. Do we really need an interrogation room door that opens electronically from above? Hinges are really cheap and really efficient.

15. And yet, Jack somehow knows his way around it quite easily, despite having never met the boss or anyone who works there but Chloe.

16. They also have easily accessible parking for people, like Kim. Kim shouldn’t have any idea where CTU is, since she doesn’t work for them, nor has she ever. Nor has Jack. Yet they know how to get to their underground bunker.

17. Speaking of, I think the most unrealistic part of 24 season eight after two episodes wouldn’t be that Victor Aruz found his old contact Jack Bauer about five years and a fake deaths after working for him as a contact in CTU LA, but that he got a parking space right out front.

18. A game show host in India is also the President of Kamistan.

19. And while we’re all thinking its his brother or wife who’s the inside person trying to kill him, it’s probably the younger chick.

20. I figured that Jack’s visit with a Muslim Imam at the end of last season brought him peace, they could get away with using a real country this time, instead of “Kamistan” and say “hey, the hero is a Muslim who FIGHTS terror.”

21. I don’t expect to hear about the three guys who got murdered in the first episode ever again. Why would anyone notice some random people got shot in New York City.

22. But when they show the news on TV, they need to mention the two cops gunned down in an alley by machine guns and the ROCKET LAUNCHER EXPLOSION that occurred on West 21st and Ninth Ave.

23. Two hours and two deaths? One by accident? I mean, axe to the chest was pretty cool, but the other guy just fell. Then again, that’s something kinda real. He should have shrugged like “alright, quicker than I thought.”

24. They changed the clock that goes to and from commercials. The colon between hour and minutes and minutes and seconds used to be spaced in the middle of the numbers. But now the dots are way lower.

Yes. I’m a loser.

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2 Responses to Twenty Four for 24

  1. travis says:

    it sucks that i have to type all this shit up rather than walk to your office to refute your points, but alas, here goes. also, don’t expect proper grammar. also, i was feeling somewhat sadistic, so i didn’t copy your points. that’s right, you’re gonna have to scroll up and down for this shit.

    1. he’s already dead

    2. he’s got a weird slouching thing going on.

    3. and annoying.

    4. it’s been 8 damn seasons. i think these 8 seasons have spanned 12 years. did no one get the GD memo?

    5. this actually brought up one of the funniest moments in 24 history. after doing the whole song and dance about “don’t worry jack we’ve got this under control” there’s a moment when jack is alone and he whispers to himself “i hate this place.” gold.

    6. agreed

    7. kinda wished they used more violent force.

    8. fucker can’t even jog convincingly

    9. katie sackoff is pretty good. i mean, she was pretty good as starbuck in bsg. here, seeing her being scared of some dude is kinda weird. hopefully she gets used for what she’s good at as an actress, which is more butt-kicky and less emotion-ey.

    10. also known as: husband comes back in episode 15…oh noes he are a bad guy!

    11. “no, it’s fine dad. terri doesn’t need any maternal grandparents.”

    12. fine by me. they were stretching with her storylines anyway.

    13. SERIOUSLY! shit is so annoying. YOU WORK FOR A GOVERNMENT AGENCY. HAVE THE FUCKER PUT AWAY.

    14. one power outage away from a lot of angry employees.

    15. eh, good point.

    16. mapquest

    17. he parked in a yellow zone. knew he wasn’t coming back. i don’t know im stretching here.

    18. he has wonderful hair.

    19. nah it was the david beier look-a-like

    20. it’s more pc if he kills muslims from fake countries

    21. can’t tell if its sarcasm, but that shit flies in n.o. like all the time

    22. *sigh* i got nothing

    23. you’d probably like joss whedon

    24. hi, im kevin, and i’m having a really hard time to gripe about 24 things.

    alright, k bye

  2. Kevin says:

    Scrolling is for suckers. Firefox, split panes!

    I did have trouble coming up with 24 items. A couple of those were definitely me being chased by a cougar. I also wrote some after two episodes and others after the next two.

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