Stream of Consciousness XI (Subconcious Edition)

October 16, 2009

Have you ever dreamed about a guy who’s kind of pale, with a short, round face and big bushy eyebrows? His eyes and mouth are big on his face. He has a receding hairline, and a slight smile. Have you ever seen him in a dream?

Is it sad that when I have back-to-back nights were I’m asleep by 1:30 a.m., I start thinking “is there something wrong with me? Maybe I’m sick.”

I’m just so used to being up late, that going to bed at midnight or one, and being asleep within an hour is extremely rare for me.

I think the most ironic (?) thing would be if I was really tired, and about to go to sleep and then got paranoid that I had some serious illness. And that paranoia kept me awake all night. Like, “Oh my God I’m sleeping all the time. It’s probably lukemia!” and then I was up. But you’d think at around 3 a.m., I’d feel normal and be at peace again.

My streak of good sleep nights was broken up by thunderstorms. I have a friend who doesn’t care for them. She gets on edge during them, especially when she’s alone.

So last night, when the thunderstorms were pretty wicked, I thought “Gee, I hope my friend’s okay.”

And then I thought “It’s freaking thunder. She’s a 26 year old woman, not a frightened puppy! Of course she’s okay. WTF is the matter with me?”

Is this a sign that I’m a bad person? That I sometimes get mad at myself for being compassionate?