Tips For You Married Women

There is nothing worse than when someone wants to set you up with someone.

I thought this was somehow related to the relationship between parents and children… but I recoiled with the same horror when someone said “I want to set you up with my friend” that I feel when my mom keeps pushing someone else’s daughter on me. (My mom could be saying “Mrs. Fox’s daughter Megan is single…” and I’d reject the idea outright. The whole point of marriage is in-law awkwardness anyway. You can’t let your mom set up the relationship, period).

For the love of God, if you want to set someone up with someone, there’s a process. The vast majority of women* do not understand this. The good match-makers do.

(* – No guys are match-makers. Sorry. I am responsible for two people being married today. My exact words: “Yes, you should call her, she’s freaking hot!” and something like “If you call her, it might work out. If it doesn’t, maybe you’ll get laid. Either way, call her.”)

The proper way is to fool both of them into thinking it was their own idea; put zero pressure on either of them, and ideally, not even let either know you’re doing it.

You put the two of them in a room together with a lot of other people, like a bar. Discretely observe their interactions (if any) when placed into the same room together. If one of them comes up to you and says “Hey, what’s the deal with _____” you can actually proceed to some form of match-making.

If not, you later ask one “did you meet _____?” and judge their reactions. Based on that, you can say “I was thinking you two might like each other, what did you think of him/her?” If one of them kills it, the other person never knows.

This tactic is especially helpful, because if you’re one of those people ALWAYS trying to set people up, then your targets (who know you), still won’t know if they are the first or second person. And when they ask, you just say “No, I haven’t talked to them yet.”

What you don’t do, is make someone feel awkward before they even see the person you want to set them up with. Because then they are just flat out against it and it has no shot.

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One Response to Tips For You Married Women

  1. Skeeter aka Bean says:

    Well if you starting asking me if I met ________, then I’ll know what you’re up too! I will answer with a no and a look of replusion :)

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