Smells Like LSU

So, LSU (along with North Carolina and Penn State) are putting out colognes.

Seriously.

Seriously.

No, really. They have a signature fragrance.

According to the Product Description: fresh splash of Frozen Basil, Calabrian Bergamot and Armoise. Transcend your spirit as Provencal Lavender, Crushed Sage, Violet Leaf and Clove Bud Madagascar blend for a cool, purple sensory experience. Take a deep breath and relax while Incense, Indonesian Vetiver, Patchouli and Oakmoss encourage you to soak in the warmth of the amber sun.

Wow, that paragraph reads like J.Peterman’s finest.

How do you transcend your spirit anyway? How can you go to a higher plane than your spirit? The word transcend means “to triumph over the negative or restrictive aspects of.”  So, LSU fans are trying to triumph over their very existence? Um, yeah… me too.

Well, I’m not surprised their description makes no sense, seeing as how they abbreviate LSU because their applicant pool can’t spell Louisiana State University.

So let me help them out with a more accurate description: Cover your stank with a powerful aroma to that will last for several minutes in the sweaty, oppressive, Louisiana humidity. The cool swamp water, mixed with Crystal hot sauce, box salt, crawfish boil brine and PBR create a pleasureful toxic gumbo that will have you smelling as fresh as Mike The Tiger’s cage!

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One Response to Smells Like LSU

  1. Audra says:

    Tiger Stadium is going to reek.

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