Why I Eat Bacon

I bet my friend Leisha that I would die before her. She took the bet. $10.

The bet came about because a facebook quiz said he would die after me. But there was no bacon question. And I eat a lot of bacon.

Scientists say bacon is unhealthy. Scientists know a lot. So why do I eat bacon?

That's right, 1975 prediction of GLOBAL COOLING!

That's right, 1975 prediction of GLOBAL COOLING!

So, I’m trusting that in 2030, they’ll discover bacon is good for me. And I’ll lose the bet. But she’ll be dead and I won’t be able to pay her.

Granted, if I die first, I can’t collect. But she forgot that I plan on crawling out of my coffin during my funeral using animatronics, while my DJ plays Michael Jackson’s Thriller (yes DJ. Big party at my funeral. Also booze, shot girls, TVs, etc).  So now I’m going to program my corpse to chase her down like the Thriller video, and get my money.

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