Search For an EPL Team

Since I semi-enjoy soccer, and really like the concept of promotion/relegation, I decided I need an English Premier League football team to root for.

I wanted to avoid the front-running four big spenders (Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool).

I also needed a team that was relatively safe from relegation, since dropping the second division (which the teams finished 18, 19, and 20 do each year) would cut my interest dramatically after one season. That left me with eight options:

The Bolton Wanderers have ugly jerseys with a “188 Bet” ad on the front. Aston Villa wears a hideous powder blue & burgundy combo. The Blackburn Rovers can’t decide on colors, switching from white & red to white and blue, and the concept is awful. Imagine cutting a human in two down the middle and coloring one side red or blue and the other white.  Portsmouth has relegation potential, their jerseys remind me of the University of Tulsa’s color scheme, changing from their traditional blue and yellow colored “gold” to a copper colored “gold.” And their website was awful to navigate and learn more about.  So they were all out.

That narrowed the field to four:

Fulham has Clint Dempsey, but their fans sing average songs and are owned by some foreign oil baron who’s the Saudi Jerry Jones.

Everton has Tim Howard, the American goal keeper. Good colors, and they are the “other team” in their city (Liverpool). As a Mets fan, I can relate to that. However, their songs are really long to sing and learn.

Tottenham Hotspur are located in the Jewish district of town (London, I believe), so they were referred to as Jews in a derogatory fashion. So they turned the tables on their tormentors and embraced the “Jew” label, calling themselves the “Yid Army.” They are kind of like the Brooklyn Dodgers in a way, which I like.

However, Manchester City is the EPL version of the Mets.

Manchester United is the evil, big money team who buys everyone in sight and always wins. Man City is across town, has a nice new stadium, but always disrespected. Their songs are awesome. Especially the one about Manchester United going to see the Pope.

I have a really tough decision to make.

Bolton Wanderers 188 Bet jerseys
Aston Villa powder blue & burgundy
Blackburn Rovers pick a f’ing color already
Portsmouth Three things

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