Hooter in Mourning

June 27, 2009

The First One That Hurts

June 26, 2009

In the five years of running the death pool, Michael Jackson is the first celebrity to die in which I’ve actually felt bad.

In general don’t like faking reverence for someone I’ve never met, when thousands of people I never met die every day and death is a natural part of life (plus the whole humor as a defense mechanism thing, I guess).

But MJ was THE MAN in the 1980s. I had the Michael trading cards. I played Thriller non-stop. I pretended he and Kurt Cobain died the same day because the Michael of the last 15 years is NOT the Michael I grew up listening to.  He was THE STAR in the world. We watched MTV 24/7 hoping Thriller would come on. And like every kid my age, I danced in my socks on the kitchen floor trying to moonwalk wearing one of my mom’s white winter gloves.

Funny story, as I was talking to my mom, and she was reminiscing on the sensation of Michael in the 80s (which coincided with many happy memories of her kids at the time), she mentioned how my neighbor Lisa, who is my age and was 5-7 at the time of Michael’s immense popularity, wanted to marry Michael Jackson.

We laughed at how Lisa probably had a better shot back then at age six than she did at age 18-24.

And that kind of made us both sad. Michael Jackson was a ridiculously gifted and talented dance, a musical genius and world-wide superstar. The 1995-2009 MJ was a tabloid freak who obviously didn’t even physically resemble 80s MJ.

I wish everyone in the world could remember him as just that musical genius and not as the plastic surgery warning poster, probable child molester, and psychologically messed up freak he was later in life.

Kate Returns to the Internet (Kind of)

June 25, 2009

Previously, I mentioned that my friend Kate got fired because of her blog (which was entertaining), but I hadn’t gotten the full story. Until now. Take it away, Kate:

The Athletic Director and I never got along. Basically, she is a crazy micro-manager.

With full-sized cardboard midget cutouts and other shenanigans, Kate's blog was a must-visit.

With full-sized cardboard midget cutouts and other shenanigans, Kate's blog was a must-visit.

I took over the position when the previous girl quit. She did all the stuff I did as well as was the top assistant women’s basketball coach. Our Athletic Director was the head coach, but quit to do more fundraising for the department. When the Assistant Coach asked to be considered for the head coach job, she was told that she wouldn’t be considered and not to apply. So instead of applying, she quit.

Well, when people in the department started talking about why didn’t they give the job to the assistant, the AD told people it was because she didn’t apply.

Then I get hired. I find out all sorts of things about the assistant coach that was there before me – like she was sleeping with one of her players, drank with her players all the time, etc.

I had a blog that I had started when I was an intern at the Atlantic 10 Conference. It was fun,  joking and I always gave people access to it. It was NOTHING that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face, and in fact had said to people’s faces. (Note: N.O. readers, Kate is the female Richie)

Basically, one day I was at work and the next second I was called into our AD’s office and told that I was being fired. A student had shown her the blog (which I’m still confused as to how they got access to it unless they saw it on my computer or something). My AD had the entire thing printed out (what a waste of trees) and had items flagged in it. The one thing she mentioned over and over again was that someone had posted “Leave Lame Forest and come back to Philadelphia” in the comments.  Which is something I hadn’t even said!  I wasn’t given the opportunity to take it down, talk to the student, or anything.

I packed up my stuff, took my blog off-line just because I figured she would start telling people about it and I didn’t want people that were not my friends to read it.

I later found out that the student who I think turned in my blog was someone who was “out to get me” because myself and another person didn’t hire her to work for us for the summer and she was pissed.

I also found out that BEFORE I was fired they had called the Assistant Coach girl who I took over the job from and re-hired her.

In my meeting, they asked me what I had done that day and any loose ends that they would need to finish up. I mentioned about 10 different contracts that I had sent out and a number of different people that I had contacted. The AD couldn’t believe I had done so many things that day. She never liked me, and would constantly call me into her office and tell me that I should CC her on every email I sent out. Which is a total crock of shit – because how do you do that?

So, now I’m living in the city of Chicago and looking for a job. In the meantime, I’m catching up on my reading and all that stuff!

Did you ever talk to an HR person about the whole thing? Or just say screw it, I should probably just move on with my life?

HR was in the room with us… I didn’t have to sign anything though and she was just there to take my keys. The AD is a total pushover so the HR lady didn’t even speak

When you first made the blog, you named it with your full name. Did you consider the fact that people you might not want to see it would easily find it? Did you worry about the work factor when setting it up? I went the anonymous route. While anyone could easily “figure out” who I am, just a quick google search of my name doesn’t bring you here. Although, I did that when I realized “holy shit, my mom could find this on Google!”

I put up a Google block on my blog , so you couldn’t find it through searching my name. I even checked and it worked.

I probably didn’t help you by linking to it on this site. Someone Googling you might have found it via my link. Will you create a new blog under some form of anonymity?

I’m thinking about it

Awesome. So there’s guest-blogger Kate.

The Anti-Fan

June 24, 2009

The Roommate and I were watching Texas and LSU in the College World Series last night. LSU, with a win, would be national champions.

So naturally, we were rooting for LSU to fail and have their hopes and dreams crushed. Not out of a love for Texas (I wish they both could lose), but because they are up river by an hour and everyone in Louisiana is an LSU fan despite the fact that 90% of them went to another college, or no college at all.

Spite, really. We rooted against them for spite. We were joined by another friend, who was also rooting hard against LSU and we went out in public, to a local dive.

The roommate expressed that he hates being “the anti-fan” but I pointed out that the joy he felt when Texas beat LSU, 5-1, was genuine, and he couldn’t turn it off. You can’t lie to yourself about it. And it’s probably a normal thing for people.

You prefer indifference to your enemies, because it means their success doesn’t affect you. But, you just can’t help rooting against them.

Besides, they’ll probably never find out. And if they win… well, as Sidney Crosby shows here, the winners have no problem sleeping at night:

Winners sleep with the Stanley Cup

Winners sleep with the Stanley Cup

Adventures in Social Networking

June 17, 2009

Interesting scene from Thursday night.  I’m in Atlanta with JO, and I had to write a press release sometime that evening, so I brought the laptop with me to a bar. We eat, I write the release, put the laptop away and have a Guiness… and then JO discovers that comedian Greg Proops is in the bar. JO tweets this fact, but misspells Proops, and then the people sitting next to us ask him for a picture.

JO takes the picture so they can all get in, and then looks up how to spell Proops on my laptop by pulling up HIS Twitter page with him standing right there.

At this point, the kid who took the picture has already uploaded it to his Twitter and says “hey, wanna see it?” JO re-tweets it, becomes a follower of this dude, and then the picture is forwarded on to Proops’ Twitter.

At which time, I believe he used the Twitter tweet to his phone to get away from other people who are infatuated with D-List celebrities.

This is way more intense (and stupid) than my Twitter habits. I just use it to provide one-liners on the top right of this page, and to tell people in a city that I’m there, and they should offer me places to stay if my flight is cancelled.

Using Twitter to say “look! I met some relatively insignificant person!” is dumb. Unlike, say, using facebook to send my mom pitures of my (brother-like) friend’s wife’s ultrasound.

Atlanta Loves Me

June 14, 2009

I know it does, because it keeps trying to get me to stay. Atlanta refuses to relinquish my bag, and keeps cancelling flights out of Atlanta that I’m booked on.

I couldn’t help but think that maybe I’m supposed to be in Atlanta for a reason. Like Tom Hanks in The Terminal. At this point, I noticed a cute girl staring at me from across the gate. So I kinda stared back. Then I realized I was sitting undeneath the TV.

Finally in Illinois

June 12, 2009

First, the post-script to the airline debacle.

After getting my flight canceled (and get a free bonus visit with JO), I fully expected to arrive in Illinois without my bag. I figured there’s no chance it gets on the plane with me.

So I wasn’t surprised in the least when about 25 bags came out for the 25 people waiting. There should be about 40 bags, because women have two.

Then I was stunned when I got to the counter and there were a stack of bags waiting for us 10 annoyed fliers who thought we were bagless.


Secondly, on Christmas I posted that my cousin has a vast CD collection. “Vast” doesn’t do it justice. He tells people how many CDs he has, and people think “Oh, that’s cool.” But you don’t quite grasp how big it is until you see it.

When I moved, I realized “I have too many CDs” and tossed the jewel cases of about 2/3 of my collection and put the rest in a binder. The binder holds 288, so I have about 240 CDs.

My cousin stopped counting years ago at 3000. This is most of his CDs:


There's also random stacks scattered around

He also has random songs that he doesn’t have on CD, because the album wasn’t worth purchasing. That is one 500 gig hard drive full of mp3s. The average music fan has a 60 gig iPod loaded up with their music. My cousin, would need at least 220 (60 gig) iPods to hold all his music.

More Posts About Weddings

June 11, 2009

Wedding = running diary. Sorry no Denali this time.

I was hoping to avoid some kind of issue like my last wedding flight. Flying into Rochester for Pritchard’s wedding, Delta forgets to put my bag on the plane during an Atlanta layover. Luckily it arrived before I needed the suit.

Think I learn my lesson? No. This time, I fly Delta, through Atlanta and instantly fear the worst. I’m headed to BMI airport. The ticket person grabs the bag sticker, reads BMI and says “Who’s going to Baltimore-Washington?”

So did the bag make it? Don’t know. The flight was canceled and now I’m sitting in Atlanta.

Lucky for me, I know Julie. Who lives two blocks from the MARTA train station. And was home. And had no plans for the night. And is my new bestest friend/hero.

She’s making me earn my keep by decorating her apartment. This would be kind of emasculating, except I’ve already accepted that I’ll be wearing her clothes later, since my bag is still at the Atlanta airport, probably sitting on the tarmac.

So, after channeling my inner Isaac Mizrahi and offering some decorating tips, it was time for hard labor. Here’s me nailing Julie’s mirror hangers in the hallway:

The Hammer says "Do it Herself" on it. It's still manly.

The Hammer says "Do it Herself" on it. It's still manly.

They'd been sitting around for months

They'd been sitting around for months

The finished product

The finished product

The Dance of Joy

The Dance of Joy

Ok, time to see some of the… whatever city. What’s Atlanta? Oh The Peach City. Yeah.

Stream of Consciousness VIII (DP edition)

June 11, 2009

Reason #47 I could handle a relationship with Danica Patrick

This does not bother me in the least (from her twitter):

DanicaPatrick I got in my car to get groceries tonight and found a doggie bag of food from 2 months ago (last time I was home). Welcome home DP!

Is everyone from Roscoe, Illinois ridiculously attractive? I’ve seen three women, and all of them are pretty darn good looking.

Oh, and in the event she somehow sees a trackback and reads this… don’t go to NASCAR, you’d be viewed as a publicity stunt and everyone would harp on you unfairly if you don’t dominate the sport. Plus, NASCAR is bumper cars, winning in Indy is a much better display of your skills.

Speaking of DP’s, Rick DiPietro’s contract suddenly doesn’t look so bad. Everyone mocked a 15-year, $4.5 million contract, but now you’ve got one guy making almost twice that for 11 more years (Vinnie Lecavalier) and another on a six-year deal for $7.5 million per year. Both on the trading block, both of their teams locked into salary cap hell.  Even with missing a year due to injury, if he can’t come back 100%, insurance can cover a $4.5 mil contract easily and the team can survive. If Vinnie blows out a knee, 15% of their cap is locked into a player not playing.

I’d hope the Islanders wait to surround DP with veteran talent to make a playoff charge. Last time they were in this position (lots of young talent in the system), they grew impatient and traded some pretty good players (all-stars Roberto Luongo, Olli Jokinen, Zdeno Chara, and Jason Spezza as a draft pick, plus Tim Connolly and Taylor Pyatt) for two high priced veterans. Had they just waited, they’d have a great young core. Hopefully they learned from that mistake, keep drafting kids, bring them along slow and become a legit contender in 2011.

Finally, does Dan Patrick exist anymore? He’s on SI.com as a pod-caster? Is that right? How that working out for him?

So Easy, You Can Rip It Off

June 9, 2009

Last night, I was watching late night TV, looking for something decent that would suck me in and make me stay up late so I’d be really tired at work. I saw Oliver Stone’s The Doors were on, and that kept me up.

So, does the Jim Morrisson family get residuals from the Geico Caveman commercials? Because that guy’s look: dead ringer for Val Kilmer’s Jim Morrisson right before he moves to Paris.