Phillies broadcaster Harry Kalas died this week. And while you’re probably expecting some joke because I hate the Phillies, I am way classier than that. Here’s my question though. When a guy associated with a team for 30 years passes, everyone from the organization is going to go to the memorial service, right?
Well what about the mascot, the Philly Phanatic? I think he should go.
Philly Phanatic
#1 – He’s one of the symbols of the franchise. His paying respects is a symbolic gesture.
#2 – Unlike a lot of mascots, the Philly Phanatic’s expression isn’t a broad smile, which would be slightly inappropriate for a funeral.
However, not mine. I’d love to have a mascot, or several, at my funeral. That’s be awesome. I’ m sure there would be children at my funeral. And I don’t want them sad. So the mascots could cheer them up.
The mascot attendance list for my funeral would include (but not be limited to):

Mr. Met (only time black outfit is appropriate!)

Iceburgh (Pittsburgh Penguins)
Big Red (Western Kentucky)

Big Red (Western Kentucky)

The Saint Joseph's Hawk...
The Hawk would be awesome because he’d have to flap his arms the whole time. High comedy.

The New Jersey Devil
New Jersey Devil (New Jersey Devils)
Now that would be high comedy. Also, can someone get this guy a name? His name is New Jersey Devil.
I’m sure there’s more awesome mascots who could come to my funeral. Since I hate the Phillies, maybe the Phanatic could dance on my grave.
But he is a Devil, and he’s from New Jersey. So it’s appropriate. Although how appropriate is telling your kids to go pose for a picture with the devil….. Hey kids! Give him a big hug!!
And thanks for giving me new ideas for my funeral. I wonder how much the San Diego chicken charges?