Are You an Alcoholic? No, But You Are An Addict

I am not an alcoholic. However, after passing the simple 20-question quiz, I realized I would fail miserably if it was a quiz determining if I was addicted to cleanliness. Here’s the same exact quiz, only with “shower” substituted for “drink”:

1. Do you lose time from work due to showering?
Occasionally, I’m late, yes.

2. Is showering making your homelife unhappy?
No, of course not.

3. Do you shower because you are shy with other people?
Well, I’m certainly not doing it with someone else!

4. Is showering affecting your reputation?
No. I think it would if I didn’t.

5. Have you ever felt remorse after showering?
Yes, when I used all the hot water.

6. Have you had financial difficulties as a result of showering?
No, water is cheap.

7. Do you turn to inferior companions and environments when showering?
No, because I’m shy and do it alone.

8. Does your showering make you careless of your family’s welfare?
I have no family, so I’m only responsible to myself.

9. Has your ambition decreased since showering?
To go to work, yes.

10. Do you crave a shower daily?
Yeah, every morning.

11. Do you crave a shower at a definite time daily?
Uh, yeah.

12. Does showering cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
Yeah. I have to get up and do it before work. So it’s definitely interfering with my sleep.

13. Has your efficiency decreased since showering?
Sleep efficiency? Yeah.

14. Is showering jeopardizing your job or business?
No.

15. Do you shower to escape from worries or trouble?
It’s relaxing after a long bad day, yes.

16. Do you shower alone?
I thought we covered this.

17. Have you ever had a loss of memory as a result of showering?
Not since I switched to liquid soap. But there was one incident.

18. Has you physician ever treated you for showering?
Nope.

19. Do you shower to build up your self-confidence?
I feel sexier when clean, so, I guess so.

20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of showering?
No.

Your score is 50%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your showering patterns are harmful and considered shower dependent or shower-holic. Since you answered more than 3 questions Yes you should seek an evaluation by a health care professional.

So there you have it. We’re all shower addicts.

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One Response to Are You an Alcoholic? No, But You Are An Addict

  1. Skeeter aka Bean says:

    this is pretty funny!

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