So, I’ve Ruined Christmas

Apparently, my immediate family moved Christmas up to Tuesday, so that my niece could do Christmas eve at home.

This led to a problem: I ordered stuff online and not all my presents were going to get in by Tuesday.

My mom has wanted something for years, and no one ever gets it for her. So, ordering online, I finally found it.

She wanted this:

Magnetic Poetry

Magnetic Poetry

Now, luckily for me, a package arrived Tuesday afternoon (we had a bout of shopping and weren’t really opening til evening) with her gift.

However, I quickly discovered I either wasn’t focused when I ordered, misclicked, OR they sent me the wrong product. Thank God I noticed it while I was wrapping presents.

What arrived was this:

Not intended for Mothers 40 & Up

Not intended for Mothers 40 & Up

NOT quite what I intended for my 58-year old, church-going Christian, June Cleaver-ish, mother.

As I discover this, I burst out laughing hysterically. But my five-year old niece is sitting outside the door waiting for me to finish wrapping so we can start Christmas. She asks what’s so funny, and all I can think to say is “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

Before showing my mom, I showed my sister in law, who howled in laughter for a while. “You HAVE to give that to her!” she exclaimed.

My mom gave my sister in law a “prayer necklace.” It has a TINY little compartment, and you write down what you’re praying about on the paper and put it in the necklace. My mom added “I don’t know what’s going to fit in that REALLY tiny compartment” and I told my sis “I’ve got some small words you could stick in there, and they definitely need prayer over!”

And we lost it. So we had give it to her and take pictures of her half laughing, half horrified face.

Naturally, my father suggested we keep it and use it now. Then looked at the box and said “This is insulting… it says ‘contains small parts.'”

During Grace before dinner, my sis and I both started shaking as we supressed laughter, because we were both thinking the same thing: “… and Jesus, forgive me for the Erotic Poetry.”


One Response to So, I’ve Ruined Christmas

  1. Skeeter AKA Bean says:

    This is freaking hilarious!!!

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