Insert the dramatic news network music and graphics here, it’s snowing in New Orleans!
No, seriously. They’re interrupting Regis & Kelly:
I tried to prepare myself for the prospect of driving to work in the snow in New Orleans. But no mental preparation you can do can totally get you ready for the incredible experience of watching one of those big bad southerns in a massive pickup truck… cruising along at 18 mph with a look of pure terror on his face.
I did nearly crash my car this morning. Not because of the conditions (those were fine), but because I was cackling like Barney Rubble at what was coming through my radio. The networks were treating this weather calamity like it was Hurricane Snowfall. I laughed at the absurdity of it all, that the same people who have refused to let Hurricane’s wipe their city out are incapacitated by a fraction of an inch of pretty snow.
Then I started thinking of all the stuff that goes with snow and blizzards in Upstate New York. And I began to think if they were going to go to alternate side parking, if we should hit the grocery store, get some candles and firewood in case the power went out, etc, etc, as I laughed harder and harder. For crying out loud, I didn’t even need the ice scraper (I threw away four when I moved down here).
One radio guy actually said that people “shouldn’t go out on the roads unless they absolutely have to, because we can’t be certain the conditions of the roads won’t become death traps.”
That’s the line that made me almost take out the guard rail.
In 13 years of public school in upstate New York, with lake effect snow, and multiple blizzards per year, I had zero snow days. This, my friends, is the terrifying face of Louisiana snow:
I almost ran him over parking my car.
Some of my coworkers did it right. They built a real snow man. One that wasn’t in danger of being crushed by a dwarf:
The best part is, the news is still going, and they have reporters out… but it’s no longer snowing on any of them.
Overall, it’s really funny, but I’m disappointed. Probably my best chance for just my second snow day ever. I’m sure the novelty will wear off on my evening commute when it takes me 50 minutes to get home because people won’t be able to drive in this crap.
On that note, snowballs are hitting my office window. There is no chance of work getting done today.