Colleen, who is the primary writer for the widely popular blog which shares her name and recent addition to my office, had just heard one of my highly entertaining stories, and said “this is why you need to have a blog.”
What I think Colleen fails to realize is that, because she has known me for a mere three weeks, there is a limit to my entertainment value. She’s hearing all these stories, all of them entertaining, for the first time. Quite soon, she’ll have heard all the good ones and within three months will be pleading for me to stop talking.
So to humor her, we’re starting this. It’s not a blog. It’s a word document on my desktop. Just like Creed in The Office, only he thinks it’s really a blog on the internet. And he’s slightly more fictional than I am. He also has a team of writers working for him. Then again, I have Richie Weaver to provide material, and no FCC rules.
I’m tempted to just put up a massive list of all the great anecdotes I’ve accumulated – hell, I even have those mostly written – but I am saving those for a book, so that I can get rich.
Also, I’m quite certain Colleen has more of a fan base than I do. My friends wouldn’t check a blog I write. Most of them know if anything truly good happens in my life, they’ll get a drunk text message at like 2 a.m. (one of alcohol’s effects on me is the rapid erosion of my concept of time zones).
My blog would soon become quite boring. With nothing going on in my life except work, it would quickly deteriorate into my complaining about the bullpen usage of the Mets and how bad the Islanders are.
Plus, all hypotheses on my lack of charisma and lack of popularity would now be quantifiable in the form of a hit counter.
And of course, I’m just too cheap to pay for website hosting and too lazy to research the right content management system.
So for now, I’m writing for an audience of one: Colleen. After a week, if she can still stand reading, maybe we’ll add more.
EDIT – I may post this online sooner than expected because of how much I hate Microsoft Word. Freaking auto bullets.