Stream of Consciousness VI: A New Beginning

More random thoughts

I think I’ve been working in photoshop too much when my response to a friend who has to paint the walls inside his house is “Just use the paint bucket, it’ll take like 12 seconds.”

Ever slack so much in a week at work that one day you have like three things you need to do and it seems like you worked all day? Yeah, me neither.

The idea of labeling these updates like movie sequels was fantastic. Well, until the viewers start thinking “Again? Can’t this guy just stay dead?” Don’t worry, I’m not going to pull “The Final Consciousness” only to comeback a while later with “KevFu Lives.” But I’m definitely not ruling out “KevFu goes to Hell” and “KevFu Takes Manhattan.”

I had no idea how much working baseball games completely sucked away my ability to have interesting things happen to me, but here we are. End of an eight-game home stand, and I realize I’ve written nothing in the past week.

This might be blasphemy, but the finale of Fringe was much better than the finale of 24. I think it’s time to freshen up 24 by putting a Director of Common Sense in the writer’s room. And also to go for broke. No new fans are coming in unless the old fans recruit them. So give us what we want. I think I’d make an entire episode of one interrogation by Jack Bauer, with torture escalating and escalating until the viewer is mildly uncomfortable. Speaking of season finale’s, did the My Boys season just start? What is this, a six-episode season? And no, watching that doesn’t make me gay.

Maybe I should play the lottery. My friend is getting married, she picked Nov. 28 as the date. I figured “no F’ing chance” of me not having games to work. But, lo and behold, we have no women’s hoops and no volleyball. Have football on the road, might have men’s hoops, but that’s only a three-person commitment, so I should be free!

You’d think that having a vast arsonel of free, cheap liquor would be awesome (and short-lived), but there’s just no way to get rid of this stuff.

Phone Home

Erin Andrews has a redheaded sister. If she was kicking ass on the new season of 24, I’d be in love.

My phone hasn’t been able to text message for five days. So I was excited that CLM found a way to send me one: via post-it left on my desk. I was going to take a picture of it with my camera phone and post it here, so you could see my glorious text. But then I realized the only way to get it off my phone was via text message. So screw that.

Old Phone

Speaking of my cell phone and of 24, every year, people make a big deal about how Jack Bauer has a ridiculous cell phone that can do things that no cell phone in existence can do. But this is a stupid comment. Of course it can do ridiculous things. The current season takes place in the future.

In 2000, when the series debuted, it was the day of the California Presidential Primary, which occurs in March of an election year. Since the show came out in October of 2000, we know that Season 1 was in March of 2004.

Time for an upgrade?

Season two would be: September/October 2005

Season three: September/October 2008

Season four: March/April 2010 (second year of next presidency)

Season five: September/October 2011 Jan)

Season six: May/June 2013

Season seven: Spring 2017

So naturally his phone can do all kinds of awesome stuff (All their computers, too), because he has a phone from the future. I’d like to get me one of those phones from the future, because mine sucks.

When you set up automatic bill pay online, it’s really important to put in your account number and not your old one. Because that’s how you end up coming home to a dark apartment and realizing you need to go to the bar across the street and take advantage of their free wireless internet to pay your bills immediately, charge your cell phone, eat dinner, and kill time until it’s bed time (which is going to be really early tonight).

Stream of Consciousness III

I love my job because of the fact that if I had to get a real job, I wouldn’t get to experience winning. Oh sure, if I was a corporate business man, we might break a sales record. But are they going to hang a banner in the rafters above the cubicles? No, they ain’t taking my ring size for that. Then again, if I worked in a cube, I’d never know the frustration of blowing an 18-point lead and losing on a pair of free throws with 1.9 seconds left.

Jack is back Sunday. I am excited. Speaking of Jack Bauer, I think you could build an entire season of 24 around Obama’s Blackberry.

Patrick Swayze was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. This is not good. It’s only Jan. 10. He’s got to make it the whole year, because I did not pick him in the death pool.

Speaking of the Death Pool, The Death Pool Page is finally updated and finalized.

Humidor page, too

An actor who played a wannabe mobster in “The Sopranos” was sentenced Friday to 10 years in prison for a botched burglary that left an off-duty New York police officer dead. This makes me feel less guilty about illegally downloading the Soprano’s to watch on my computer. It’s difficult to watch the show and not want to get in on the act of criminal activity.

Does anyone else ever watch Classic replays of games they saw, in which their team loses, but they can’t look away? Watching the Mets lose Game Seven of the 2006 NLCS makes me want to Pull out my own eye and eat it.

I’ll repeat: THE MAN IN THE LINK PULLS OUT HIS OWN FREAKING EYE AND EATS IT!!! Holy hell, how messed up is that?